Forgiveness and the healing of resentment are such important issues today. But when it comes to forgiving others, sometimes we rebel. Why should I be the one to forgive the unkind relative, or the inconsiderate neighbor, or
the boss who fired me? Didn’t they commit the wrong?
I’ll forgive them when they change or apologize or stop hurting me! It may seem difficult to let go of resentment. But resentment only blocks our happiness and energy levels so it is really ourselves that we are hurting. It’s almost impossible to have happy and healthy relationships when we are carrying around resentment.
Letting Go Of Resentment
The first step in releasing resentment is to be willing to feel this hurt. Look under the resentment and find the hurt. Find the feelings of being not good enough or not worth loving that you are avoiding. Then be willing to experience them. Cry if you can. Once you are willing to feel this hurt, you no longer need the resentment.
The next step is to notice that the person you resent has a very particular state of mind and a very particular way of seeing life. Notice that this person has a very limited awareness and acts totally consistent with his or her limited skills and ability.
Now notice that if this person was wiser and more aware, then he or she would be able to act very differently, but the person isn’t wiser and more aware. This person only has the limited awareness that he or she has. Notice that this person is doing the very best he or she can with his or her very limited ability.
Notice how much this person suffers as a result of his or her limited knowledge and skills. Now ask yourself, Are you willing to forgive this person for not being wiser and more aware? Are you willing to forgive this person for acting consistent with his or her limited ability?
Are you willing to forgive this person for the damage that was caused? Remember that forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Forgiveness is a choice. Let go of your resentment and get on with your life.