Self-love is crucial because your external world will reflect how you feel about yourself. Self-love also gives you a safety net to take risks and go after your dreams, because you know that no matter what the outcome, you’ll be OK — your self-worth is not on the line. The problem is, many of the teachings on self-love can be surface-level only.

Yes, it’s great to be able to look in the mirror and embrace your flaws, but real self-love is about so much more than that. What’s really needed is to know the secret to real self-love and how to connect with it.

Real self-love is about claiming your right to an abundant, love-filled, joyful, adventurous and fulfilling life. It’s also about embracing who you are at the deepest level and having the courage to show up as your authentic self, never worrying about what others may think. Without real self-love in our lives we continue to walk around believing we are the walking wounded and that deep down inside we don’t deserve to be loved.

Well, it’s time to free ourselves from these delusions and truly heal our lives from the inside-out. Real self-love is about embracing who you are and accepting yourself fully. Most people struggle with this is anytime a shadow arises in their life they try to avoid it or get rid of it. That’s not how we love ourselves. That’s how we allow fear to be more important than love.

Real self-love is also about knowing that the source of your love is you. It comes from an ocean of love that is deep inside your spiritual heart where only love exists.

This love knows no fear and can never run out. Most of us are trying to fill our cup of love up from the outside in by doing things to take care of ourselves.

Now, this is a good thing but it is not love – it is self-care. Self-love is also not about liking what we see in the mirror as that is just about how we see ourselves through the lens of our mind.

Real self-love is divine in nature and cannot be understood by the ego. It is where we are nourished from the inside out and any thoughts or feelings of good or bad, right or wrong vanish into the nothingness from which they came.

The simplest way to access this unconditional and universal love is to quiet the mind and be still for a moment.

The moment you do you will feel real self-love wash over you. Then, you know you have arrived home and that the love you have for yourself is so deep that it will never stop overflowing.

Whether we know it or not we are constantly limiting or negating our greatness in life by playing small and choosing to keep the illusion of being in control of our lives alive.  All the while, deep down inside, we know that nothing is really under control and that life is rapidly passing us by and we’re no happier or fulfilled than before.

The Naked Truth

So the question is, what does it take to show up in your life and live your deepest gifts and creativity without hesitation? The answer is love. But not the kind of love that you are used to seeing on TV, or typically portrayed in everyday relationships.

This love can often be laced with anger, violence, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness and judgment. When that happens, then it becomes about fear and not love. Love is never about being judgmental or having conditions, it is about giving of oneself unconditionally – all the time.

The love that I’m talking about here is self-love. Self-love is the action of accepting yourself in totality for who you are which includes the good bits, the bad bits, and the ugly bits. In reality there are no good, bad, or ugly bits to any of us as these are all perceptions based on judgment, but I use these terms because most people can relate to them and their meaning.

The reality for most people is that they are hiding parts of themselves that they either judge as not okay, or they are ashamed of. It takes energy to push things down inside us and keep them hidden from both ourselves and the world around us because we are afraid that on some level the pain will be too much to bare.

The price we pay for this though is that we will always run away from anything that might trigger similar feelings or pain for us. This means that a big chunk of our life gets caught up in putting on a brave face and pretending everything’s okay, when we know it’s not.

The only way we are ever truly going to be free from the demons of our past experiences is to face them. There is no other way. But facing them doesn’t mean that it has to painful. Sure, it’s most likely going to be uncomfortable and we may end up crying or feeling vulnerable but that is perfectly okay.

being vulnerable means that you are finally okay for being seen for who you are. Once you are able to stand tall in your deepest fears and vulnerabilities, then you are not longer being controlled by your past. Now, you have accepted yourself for who you are and the doors to your heart and Soul will open wide.

Love Will Find Away

The path of love, or self-acceptance is the most important path that any human being will ever walk. Many will try and fail, while some will go all the way and others will never even get started. Regardless of what path we choose eventually all roads lead to the same destination, and that is love.

We come from love and when we die we go back to love, everything else that happens in between is also love, it’s just that we sometimes forget to remember that it’s there. If you doubt this, just close you eyes for a moment and think of something that you love. A person, a place, a special moment.

Then allow yourself to be aware of how you are feeling this love. Where is the loving coming from. If it is your heart, then ask yourself how does the heart feel love? Is that it was triggered from something outside, or is it that the heart is a conduit for infinite love that comes from some unseen place within you?

To test your answer, stop thinking about the memory you had in mind of a loving moment and instead just bring your awareness to your heart space. Just focus your full attention on your heart space and see if you can allow the feeling of love to arise naturally without any trigger at all, except to focus on it. If you can get this to work, then you will have your answer.

Our heart is a conduit to a depth-less ocean of unconditional love. It’s only the mind that seeks to put conditions or rules on it and that’s when love disappears and all that’s left is judgment. The way to allow more love into your life starting today is to practice giving it from your heart anywhere and everywhere you go.

As you focus on giving more love without expecting anything in return your capacity to give and receive love will grow. It’s just like training your body at the gym – the more you work your love muscle, the bigger and stronger it gets.

As you allow more and more love into your life, then your life will start to flow in new and exciting ways. Opportunities that you could not have imagined will suddenly appear in your life, your work will start to mirror your deepest passions and desires to serve in the world, your relationships will be rich and full, and your mind will be at peace.

Love and peace of mind go hand-in-hand because when we are at peace, then love is already there. It’s only when we are disturbed or distracted by the pressures of life that we forget that love is always waiting for us at the door to our heart. All we need to do is stop for a moment and dive-in to our heart.