Integrity is one of those things that you either have or you don’t. It has nothing to do with ‘doing the right thing’ and has everything to do with being in alignment with who you are.

It literally means that what you say and do are totally aligned. Anything less basically means you are sending mixed messages to the world around you which feels to others like a lack of honesty and authenticity coming from you. Not to mention your subconscious then builds a belief around it and then it becomes a habit.

Without integrity it will be hard for people to trust you. An example of this is a business owner who expects the best from his team yet in the background does nothing but run around barking orders and putting people down rather than being an example that inspires others to step up.

When what you say and do doesn’t line up then the message to your inner world is also that you can’t be trusted. As you continue to justify your behavior and make excuses for not being a person that keeps their word then it has a flow on negative impact on your self respect and esteem.

This can then result in external things in your life like your work, finances, relationships or health starting to fall apart around you. Ultimately, lack of integrity creates an internal split inside you that can only be healed by coming back into the wholeness that living with integrity provides.

Three Steps To Unstoppable Integrity

In days gone by there have been times that I have been out of integrity more often than I’d like to admit. Yet, out of the rubble of the mess I made came much growth and awakening. It wasn’t until I started focusing on the relationship I had with myself that my integrity started to strengthen.

Here’s what I found worked to help me rebuild my inner trust and become a person of integrity again:

1. Your word is your bond

If you say you are going to do something then do whatever you can to honor it. By failing to honor our word we undermine ourselves and diminish who we are as a person. Now, it’s not always going to be possible to keep your word as things sometimes happen that are out of our control. But, if you are a person of integrity, you will always honor your word.   It’s when you don’t honor your word that you mess up and then you need to clean up or fix the mess.

2. Make a declaration to yourself

The foundation of being a person who lives and breathes integrity starts with you. Make a declaration to yourself that, “I am a person of my word”, and “I give my word to myself that I am a person of integrity.” Don’t make this declaration lightly otherwise it’s just going to be hot air. Tell others what you are doing so that not only you hold yourself accountable, but others will as well.

3. Cultivate integrity daily

Integrity is like a muscle. The more you work it – the stronger it gets. The more you keep your word and follow through with what you say you are going to do the more self-respect you will develop. As this grows, so to will your identity of being a person of integrity.

Being in integrity automatically means that you are in alignment mentally, physically and spiritually with yourself. This alignment then gets expressed through your words and actions that are a vibrational match.  It is also the simplest way to live a life of authenticity and wholeness.

The greatest and most inspiring leaders that you know you can trust will always be people who live with integrity. Sure, there are leaders who ooze charisma yet lack substance but that’s okay as their lack of integrity will be blatantly obvious if you look close enough at their actions.

I don’t tend to focus on the integrity of others though as honestly it’s irrelevant. You can’t change who people are but you can change yourself. I focus on making sure that I keep my word and that if for some reason I can’t then I still honor my word. That way my integrity stays intact.

If you’re not sure what I mean by honoring your word then let me explain. We can honor our word by either keeping our word as it was expressed when we made it, or as soon as we know we won’t be able to keep our word, we inform any other parties involved in advance so that they are kept in the loop and not left out to dry.

This also applies to yourself. If you say you are going to go to the gym five times this week then make sure to follow through and do it. Otherwise, your integrity will diminish and you won’t even be able to trust yourself let alone anyone else trusting your or your word.

My final recommendation is that if you are sincere about being a person of integrity, then think carefully before giving your word to anyone or anything – ever! It’s better to commit to nothing than to make frivolous promises that you had not intention of keeping.

Step into the next level of self mastery and leadership by being the embodiment of integrity in all areas of your life. This is how we can not only elevate ourselves but also be the change the world needs right now.

Obviously, this can happen in a variety of ways but I’m going to get real specific here about one particular thing people do to give away their power.

It’s called justifying yourself! So what is justification, why do we do it and what can be done about it?

Justification is when we offer (or don’t) an explanation of our choices for a variety of reasons. The key here is that explaining is the way you’ve been giving away your power.

It’s not always a negative thing either as the need to explain our lives away can be motivated by fear, guilt, or even self-doubt and it can also be an honoring or ourselves and others.

The subconscious need to justify ourselves to others or have them justify themselves to us most likely has it’s root in our childhood where we are rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior.

It makes sense then that when you are justifying yourself to another when there is no need you have become the child in that relationship and they the parent. This is obviously not healthy for either of you as it is toxic in nature and opens the door for blame and resentment.

Think about it in reverse. When was the last time you asked or expected someone to justify themselves to you? What was going on for you at the time? Perhaps you were frustrated or upset about something the other did or didn’t do and you were subconsciously looking to them to make you feel better about yourself?

Giving away your power by explaining your decisions and actions to others keeps you stuck in the belief that you are not okay at some level. This limiting belief then continues to attract people into your life that will happily take your power away from you.

This pattern is all too familiar in intimate relationships and is a sure-fired recipe to kill any chance for love if left unchecked. The most obvious example of this is the control freak who constantly wants you to explain yourself so that he or she feels like they are in charge.

What’s The Payoff In Justifying Yourself?

Here’s some of the main ways we benefit from justifying ourselves:

• We’re trying to ease our own feeling of guilt
• We’re trying to control the other persons response
• We’re insecure about our own choices and want the other person to validate our decision.
• We want to stay hidden so that others see us in a way that keeps the peace
• We are defending against feeling badly about ourselves by trying to convince others what we did was the best we could do
• We want to have a closer, more open connection with the other person

As you can see from the last point, it’s not always going to be giving away your power if you choose to explain your decisions to someone. It depends on the intention behind it and how unapologetic you can be towards yourself.  The way I look at it is that it’s none of my business what others think about me unless I make it so.

I used to put a lot of energy into explaining my decisions and actions. Sometimes, they were an honest attempt to seek to be understood but often they were a result of my own self-doubt and innate desire for people to approve of me.

Since then, I wised up. Once I started to accept myself and take full responsibility for my choices that’s when all my relationships changed for the better. I started to catch myself starting to explain my choices to someone and would notice if it was necessary or not.

Over time I discovered effective ways to communicate with others that didn’t involve giving my power away. This was a big learning curve for me as it wasn’t easy at first but now after many years it’s become second nature.

The first rule of not giving away you power is that no-one is responsible for how you think and feel except you. Sure, others can say and do things that upset you but you are the one that is choosing to receive their words and energy in a negative way.

Life is neither positive or negative these traits are decided by the way you look at things. Someone can look at snow and be deliriously happy while others can look at it and be annoyed. The snow stays the same but what people think and feel about it depends on whose looking.

This is such an important thing to consider in today’s world as everything is moving so quickly that very few people are slowing down enough to look at themselves first before lashing out at others.

That’s why learning how to stop giving your power away to others is needed now more than ever and it starts with you learning five simple strategies to master what I call the power of non-justification.

5 Ways To Stop Justifying Yourself

Here are my top five tips on how you can stop giving away your power through non-justification.

1. Drop these words

Words have power and can even be a source of giving away your power if you allow it. There are three words you can drop from your vocabulary immediately that will help you to stop justifying yourself to others. The words are; ‘just’, ‘but’, and ‘because’. The next time you find yourself being asked to explain yourself try doing so without using these words.

2. I chose it

There are plenty of other words you can use that help you to keep your power. Words like; ‘I chose to’ or ‘I chose not to’; ‘I like it or I don’t like it’; and ‘I want to’ or I don’t want to’ are just a few examples of words you can use to take your life and power back.

3. Yes & No

By far the two most powerful words we can use are yes and no. Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. Nothing else is needed. The moment you start to explain why you have said yes or no then you start to sell yourself out.

4.  Use short statements of fact

There’s nothing wrong with giving a reason why you did or didn’t do something as long as you keep it short and factual. Once you start going into a lengthy explanation that there’s no need for that’s when it becomes dis-empowering.

5. Ask Questions

This strategy tends to be a last resort when someone is quite persistent about you needing to explain yourself. It’s more a deflection tactic that puts the question back on them as to why they need you to justify yourself to them.

Here’s an example:

You: “I was just offered a new job that I recently applied for!”

Them: “I see… are you going to take it?”

You: “Yes, I am!”

Them: “Well, I didn’t know you wanted that job, why didn’t you tell me!?”

This is where you are now being asked to justify your decision. You are under no obligation to answer this unless you want to. I’d either make a short statement of fact such as; “Well, I’m telling you now!”

Or, put it back on them and ask them a question like:

“Why does it matter if I told you or not?”

Whenever someone is asking you to make them feel better about an uncomfortable thought or feeling they are having and you reinforce this game with them then it’s a lose-lose scenario. You lose because you empower the belief that you have to justify yourself to be okay and they lose because they don’t get to look at themselves.

We can only control how we show up when relating to others. How others react or respond to that has nothing to do with us.

What you can do is to pay attention to what is happening in your mind and body. Are you anxious, tense, or worried about the other persons feelings? Or, perhaps you are feeling resentful but unable to express your anger? If so, then before you say anything take a moment to give yourself space to think and breathe before you say or do anything.

It may feel awkward at first, especially if you are used to rescuing people from their own feelings, yet it may also feel exhilarating too.  Explaining may have been the way that you were giving your power away in the past but that does not mean that your future has to be the same.

Last Thoughts!

Thanks for taking the time to invest in your expansion in this part of your life. You now have some simple strategies to stop justifying yourself so that you can reclaim your personal power and integrity.

There really are NO LIMITS to what you can be, do or have except for any self-imposed ones.

I’m insanely committed to helping people to live the life they were meant to live. Whats in the way is whatever limiting beliefs and habits that are holding you back mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually.

That’s why every now and then I run a 5-Week Group Coaching Program called ‘Boundless Energy‘ which is specifically designed to redefine whats possible in your relationships, career and the quality of your life.

Each week dives deep into an area of your life that gives you the FREEDOM to create a life of your choosing and make a significant impact during your time on this earth. If you’d like to know more about this then Click Here or  go to https://www.michaelatma.com/boundless-energy to see when I’ll be offering this program again.

This is just a sample of how I love to help people to step into their greatness.  Make sure to let me know how you go practicing non-justification in your everyday life by dropping me an email at hello@michaelatma.com or joining me on Facebook at: Meditation Dojo 

To life,

Michael Atma

Author, Transformation Coach & Speaker

Who is this guy? This guy is me!

So what has this got to do with gratitude? Well, that’s where it gets interesting as it’s really about a simple daily habit I got into that changed everything… and that habit is meditation.

Now, this may sound a little weird at first that doing something as simple as meditation could completely transform someones life but if you stick with me here, I’ll do my best to explain.

The first ever meditation I learned was a guided one. It went for an hour and during that time I completely lost sense of myself.

It was like I had zoned out for an extended period and had no recollection of what had happened. I wasn’t exactly asleep as I was aware of images and sensations flashing through my mind but none of it made any sense.

This aroused my curiosity which then led me to travelling the world to study meditation techniques and tools from both eastern and western cultures and traditions.

By this stage I was meditating for at least an hour a day and I was loving it. I was experiencing such a deep sense of calmness and inner peace while simultaneously noticing that things in my outer world were also showing up in new and exciting ways.

It was like a light had been switched on and I was now attracting all sorts of people and opportunities that were more aligned to where I was now headed in my life.

Prior to learning to meditate I had been an introvert who found it hard to talk to more than one person at a time and had zero business or creative acumen. Suddenly, I was meeting new people with ease, was starting to teach seminars and workshops on how to meditate and had so many new horizons opening up in my life.

Best of all, I was opening up to my inner entrepreneur which I never even knew how to spell let alone imagine I had this inside me prior to meditating.

It was like a heaviness or shadow had been lifted from my mind and I was starting to see things clearly for the first time. I noticed I was becoming incredibly sensitive to taste, smell, texture, sound, noise and so many things I’d never noticed before.

I found myself being really passionate about things I’d never been interested in before like healing, coaching and understanding the layers of the human mind as it pertained to  happiness and well being. I

Interestingly, I also started to become more sensitive to energy while feeling a deeper empathy towards all living things. This helped me to recognize that most of my life I’d desensitized myself to the world around me as at some level I never felt safe to let the world in.

Meditation also helped me to tap into the flow of my creativity and as I allowed channeled it into my business and life new and even more amazing adventures started to unfold. From writing a best-selling book to speaking on stage in front of two thousand people – I was in awe of my life.

Now, as I sit here writing this and reflecting on my journey of the past twenty years since I started meditating I am immensely grateful. Not only do I get to wake up each day living the life I love and getting paid for it but I’m also financially secure and have created companies that work without me.

For me, it is now all about lifestyle and giving back tenfold for what I have received. I still meditate an hour each day and work harder on myself than any of my businesses and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sure, it wasn’t just meditation that got me to where I am today. Of course it took focus, commitment, discipline, a willingness to learn and most of all patience. Yet, it’s these exact same qualities that get developed while getting into the habit of meditating on a daily basis.

The way I look at it is the meditation if the foundation of all that I am and do. There are so many layers and levels to meditation that I could speak for hours on it which I will leave for another time.

I am so grateful for the keepers of the secrets of meditation that have been handed down over the centuries from teacher to student. The source of true meditation is the same as the source of existence itself. We are simply tapping back into that source to help remember who we are at the core of our being.

That is why meditation is so powerful as it is more a state of being or pure consciousness than it is just a method of sitting and breathing in certain ways. Today’s modern meditation is really nothing more than a chill pill for over-stressed men and women to find some relief in their over-stimulated lives.

At it’s essence though – it is freedom, bliss and joy itself.

I also dive into the understanding that no matter circumstances we find ourselves in their is 1 thing we can always to go from struggle to strength.

If you’re looking to gain an insight into just how powerful the mind is and how you can tap into it’s ability to give you more of what you really want out of life, then this is a must watch.

There are also some great nuggets in here for tuning into your body so that you can de-stress with ease and enjoy more happiness along the way on your path of success.

And for most of us, these circumstances unfold as a result of the mental, physical, and emotional habits we set in motion in our everyday lives. Which leads us to the conclusion that if we simply change our habits then we can change our lives. At least, that is how I used to think.

I used to focus on developing new habits to replace old habits that I felt were holding me back or not giving me the results I wanted. I would work on changing my habit around getting up in the morning, my habit of going to the gym, and my habits around work and business.

What I realized though, is that when it comes to making changes that produce a lasting difference in those parts of your life that are important to you, there is something else that needs to come first.

It boils down to the difference between trying to force change to happen, and allowing it.

Let me explain.

The Difference Between Judgment and Allowance

What exactly is the difference between judgment and allowance?

• If you’re thinking about changing your eating habits because of how you look, that is a judgment. Allowance is when you accept the way your body is and choose to stop beating yourself up about it.
• If you’re always criticizing others for not living up to your expectations of them, that is a judgment. Allowance is when you accept others for who they are and don’t try to change them.
• If you compare your life to the lives of others and then resent the way your life is, that is a judgment. Allowance is when you accept the way your life is with gratitude for what you do have.
• If you focus on your money habit of spending more than you earn and beat yourself up for it, that is a judgment. Allowance is when you acknowledge your behavior and work out why this is a pattern for you. Once you understand where the pattern is coming from, then you can decide if you want to change it or not.
• If you just took the time to focus on being more allowing with yourself and your existing habits be they mental, physical, or emotional, would it make any real difference?

For example, if you have a habit of getting up late and starting the day feeling frantic and rushed, would being allowing help let go of the old habit at all?

I definitely think so.

As an example, when I get up late in the morning and feel unmotivated to do anything, then the first thing I do is to acknowledge how I am feeling. I don’t try to judge it, ignore it, or change it in any way. The simple act of acknowledging what is happening for me is what I call allowance.

For whatever reason, a part of me wanted to get up late so I accept it. This simple act of accepting things exactly the way they are without trying to change them as step one in making changes is a game changer. It’s like you are giving yourself permission to be okay with those parts of you that you might normally consider undesirable.

When you lighten up on yourself then you won’t need to force change to take place. Instead, it will happen naturally and easily without the need to struggle against those parts of you that you judge. In essence all you are really doing is silencing your inner critic.

Just the same as if you were to allow a toddler to have a tantrum instead of trying to control it or modify it’s behavior to make you feel more at ease, allowing yourself to be what you need to be in the moment should be just as permissible.

The reality is the toddler just needed to let of some steam. Likewise, the more you judge parts of you as unacceptable, the more they are going to throw a tantrum. You can never be at peace with yourself or your life until you learn to accept yourself just the way you are.

Here’s a few more reasons why you should focus on allowance instead of changing habits.

1. Allowance takes just a moment.

When you’re trying to change a habit, in essence you are saying to yourself , “I’m not okay with the way I am.” The challenge with this mindset is that you’re always judging yourself from the get-go before you even set about trying to develop a new habit. This is why it can be so difficult to make your new habits stick. It comes from a space of self-judgement rather than self-acceptance.

By accepting any thoughts and feelings that you may have been pushing down and allowing them you are taking the first step towards a happier and healthier life. Changing a habit is not going to give you the happiness you seek. Only accepting yourself as you are will do that for you.

2. Allowance is in alignment with universal energy.

Universal energy is simply the energy or life force that flows through everything that exists. I call it the source of all that is. The reason why this is important is because when you are in flow with the Universe then making changes is as simple as breathing.

It’s when you go against the flow of the your life that things can feel like a struggle. It’s like when you really want something that deep inside you you know is not really meant for you yet still you pursue it. You get so focused on the object of your desire that you lose sight of what’s actually important.

If you have to struggle to make a change then the Universe is already telling you that you’re going against the flow. That’s when you need to stop for a moment and ask yourself if where you are headed is where you really want to be. I find that in these cases  it’s just a matter of tuning into what your heart wants.

3. Allowance puts you back in the drivers seat of your life.

When you say ‘yes’ to yourself which is really what being allowing is all about, then you instantly become responsive to life rather than reactive. When you stuck in reacting to what goes on inside and around you then you become a puppet to unconscious behavior that you believe you have no control over.

That’s why it’s so important to practice being allowing. Between every stimuli and response there is a gap of opportunity for you to break the cycle of reactive behavior and take back control of how things unfold in the world around you.

All that’s needed is to take a slow, deep breath and pause for a moment as soon as you feel triggered. This gives you space to step back from the old reactive patterns so that you can calm down and choose exactly how you want to think, feel or behave.

How to Break Any Habit For Good

There really is only one step when it comes to breaking or changing habits – and that is to make a REAL decision. A real decision means that it’s something that is a must for you. If it’s not a must then forget about it and just keep doing what you are doing as it probably won’t stick anyway.

Most people wish their life were different rather than being 100% responsible for making it happen. That’s why if you just focus on changing habits without being the kind of person that follows through on what you say you are going to do then it’s a waste of time.

Ultimately, change can sometimes be for the better or the worse. You may think that the grass is greener on the other side only to arrive there and be more miserable. I’ve had this happen in areas such as relationships, finances, health and career. So be mindful of what your true motivation is for change as you might just get what you ask for.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please comment and share if you want more content like this.

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Michael Atma
Michael Atma Blog

PS: If you’d like to learn how to be more mindful in just 7 days — click here for instant access 

Perhaps the first thing to look at is how you define joy. Is it something that happens to you that makes you feel happy, or is it something that you generate from within you? How you answer this question ultimately determines how and when joy comes into your life.

3 Secrets To A Joyful Life

Mastering the art of joyful living is something that anyone can do. While it may require more effort for some than others ultimately if you are willing to put in some effort you are bound to get results.

Here are 3 powerful keys to turn unhappiness into a life filled with joy, peace, and calm stability.

1. Receive everything with love.

We can’t always control what happens in our lives, but we can control how we react and respond to them. It’s easy to get into the habit of blaming others, or the world around us when things don’t go our way. Then we get to feel justified at getting angry or upset. However, all this does is feed our victim consciousness which fills our mind and body with negative energy.

To turn this pattern of behavior around all that’s needed is look at things in a different way. What if you took everything that happened in your life and instead of judging some things as good and others as bad, you received everything with love? How might that impact the quality of your life?

The first thing it would do is elevate your mindset from that of believing you are a victim of your circumstances to taking ownership over what happens. This simple shift in how you approach every thought, feeling, and experience that happens in your life instantly transforms your energy from fear to love.

The moment we take responsibility for how we receive what goes on inside and around us is the moment that we awaken to a higher level of freedom and joy in our lives. As long as we stay stuck in judgement over our thoughts, feelings, or results, we block the flow of peace and calmness in our lives.

Peace happens when we accept ourselves fully for who we are. When there is peace in our heart and mind, then there is unlimited joy and happiness to be experienced. The lesson here is that whatever comes your way – learn to love it.

The way to receive everything with love is to firstly set it as an intention in your life. Once you have decided that you want to make love more important than judgment, then the next step is to embrace whatever comes your way with love through your breath. Simply take a deep breath into your heart and say to yourself, “I love and approve of myself, and I sense _______ (fill in the blank)”.

No matter what you sense, just repeat this phrase to yourself as you breathe in. The blank can be anything at all that your are thinking or feeling at the moment. Then, as you breathe out, focus on giving love back out to the world around you.

2. Be grateful.

Gratitude really is one of the most super normal powers we have at our disposal to send a strong message to the Universe that we love our lives. It’s well known that what we put out in thought, word and deed comes back to us, so it makes sense then that if we show gratitude for everything that happens in our life, then we’ll receive more to be grateful for.

It may not make a lot of sense at first to practice being grateful all the time but if you persevere long enough you will soon start to experience the joy in it. Often times our true purpose and gifts in life get revealed by what looks like mistakes or pain. During these times we usually have to dig deeper inside to bring out a part of us that we have never needed before and this heralds the birthplace of our brilliance.

Ultimately, gratitude is a powerful emotional state that can uplift your heart, spirit, and life. It is the one emotion above all others that can enhance the quality of your happiness, peace and fulfillment more than anything else.

The best way to put gratitude into motion in your life is to start and end the day with a gratitude prayer. Just think of 10 or more things you can think of that you are grateful for and silently give thanks to them in your mind and heart both at the start of the day and before you go to sleep.

Eventually, you’ll soon come to feel grateful for every moment that you take a breath, as even something as simple as your body remembering to breathe so you can stay alive is something to be thankful for. As you heart opens to more gratitude so too will your life open to higher levels of happiness, peace and joy.

3. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

If you’ve ever spent anytime hanging around people who bitch and moan about their lives, or about other people, then you’re probably aware of how uncomfortable it feels to be around them. There is no good that comes from criticizing others, or complaining about the way your life is. In fact, it’s quite the opposite in that it sends a powerful message of negativity out to the Universe.

When we complain it’s usually because we are annoyed about something. Rather than complaining about it though, we can just as easily turn it around and instead find something about it to be grateful for. Just by looking to find what’s right with something, rather than what’s wrong with it instantly elevates our thought process and energy levels.

It’s so easy to find fault in ourselves and others but to what end? It doesn’t make you feel any better about yourself, or develop better relationships. In fact, it does the opposite. That’s why when you decide to drop giving yourself or others a hard time through habitually complaining, condemnation, or criticizing, you open up the door to deeper levels of happiness and joy.

If you follow these three keys and apply them for even just a few minutes each day you’ll instantly stay to experience tremendous forward movement in your daily levels of happiness, peace and joy. Joy is something that happens naturally within us when we are not distracted by the myriad of thoughts and emotions that demand our time.

Sometimes, all it takes to be happy is to stop and center yourself for a moment. Then, happiness arises naturally as it was always present in your body – it just needed to be remembered.

If you enjoyed this post please comment and share if you want more content like this

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Michael Atma
Michael Atma Blog
Skype: michaelatma
Email: Michael@MichaelAtma.com

PS: If you’d like to learn how to Train Your Mind To Be Happier in just 7 days — click here for instant access

So why do we worry?

Is it because it’s an inbuilt mechanism to warn us of impending danger, or is it simply something that we’ve become conditioned to do because it’s what everyone else is doing around us? Modern research suggests that it’s actually a combination of both these things.

The challenge arises when you find that worrying is occupying a great deal of your mental and emotional energy. When this happens then anxiety can set in and that’s when we can get into a vicious cycle of worry-anxiety-more worry-more anxiety.

With excessive worrying, our mind/body system goes into hyperdrive. This can lead to loss of appetite, insomnia, harmful addictive behavior, declining health, depression, and relationship problems. While a little worry can help motivate you to take action on things you might normally procrastinate on, excessive worry can be a potentially devastating.

How Do We End The Worry Cycle?

The first thing to be mindful of is that worry comes from the mind. Specifically, fear of things like change, the unknown and the future. The mind can get lost in worrying about what may or may not happen at home, at work, or in any area of our life or the world around you. Regardless of what the mind is obsessed about it’s bound to be future based.

Worry is also about fear of loss. Fear of losing the comfort, health, peace of mind, happiness, security, life, or whatever it is we believe that we may potentially lose.  This is valuable information to have because once we understand that the mind can be obsessive about things that it can’t control then it becomes easier to work with it.

Many people tend to handle worry and anxiety by taking prescription medication to reduce the symptoms. However, does that really help with what’s causing or triggering us to be worried? It’s more like a temporary ‘fix’ that has its own set of side effects that can also be unpleasant and harmful.

What then is the answer to dealing with the triggers and causes of our worries and anxieties?

Perhaps it’s the way we look at them. What if we viewed worry and anxiety as something that we can learn from, rather than something we have to get rid of? Wouldn’t that instantly change the way we thought about worry and how we approached it?

The best question to ask yourself when you become aware that you are feeling anxious about something is, ‘is it true?’ By true I mean is it happening right now? If it is, then do something about it. If it isn’t, then what purpose is there in worrying? How is it helping you? Once you answer that question, then if you want to you can choose to let go of being worried.

How do you do that though if the mind won’t let you – that’s the million dollar question. This is where you come to the conclusion about whose really in control of your life. If you can’t choose to let go of something that’s not a real or present danger in this moment, then that tells you that the subconscious mind is in charge.

This is actually great news. It gives you a way to immediately start taking back your power to choose how you want your life to look, feel and be. As long as you are a prisoner to fearful thoughts and feelings about the future then you’ll always feel like a victim and believe that you are powerless to do anything about it.

That’s simply not true. You always have the power to choose exactly the way you want your life to look and feel without exception. All you need to do is focus your attention on the present. In other words, get out of your head and drop into your body so that you feel centered and grounded again. As soon as you do that all thoughts of worry will disappear.

Happiness Is The Key

Happiness is a natural state of being. When we are at ease with ourselves and have peace of mind, then we are naturally happy. Nothing else is needed. It’s only when we are in an unnatural state such as worry or anxiety, that we forget that happiness is waiting just underneath the surface of the disturbance in the mind and body.

The more time you spend focusing on bringing the mind into the present moment, the more time you will have to enjoy being happy. The way you can do this is simply to be mindful of your thoughts and feelings without judging them.

Just by taking the time to close your eyes and allow any worrying thoughts or feelings  to move through the mind and body without judging them or getting caught up in them, will rapidly start to reduce the impact they could potentially have over your mental, emotional state, or physical state of being.

This simple exercise in mindfulness is all that’s required to create space in your head. Once you have a bit of space in your head, then the mind starts to quiet down and a calmness and inner peace arises. That’s all that’s needed to instantly start to retrain the mind to let go of worrying thoughts and feelings and be happy.

So the next time you find yourself worrying about something that’s not actually happening, then give yourself a few mindful moments to stop worrying so that you can be happy again.

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Michael Atma
Michael Atma Blog
Skype: michaelatma
Email: Michael@MichaelAtma.com

PS: If you’d like to learn how to meditate deeply in just 7 days — click here for instant access!

I have a slightly different slant on confidence these days. You see, in the past, I used to think that it was a skill of some sort that I needed to get better at… a bit like training your muscles at the gym. The more you work them, the stronger they get. But I found that I was looking in the wrong direction.

Let me explain.

There are two types of confidence that I have come across. The first comes from the knowledge that you are good at something like the work you do, a hobby, or something that you have no doubt you are good at.

This type of confidence is what I call ‘experiential confidence’. It comes from that part of you that is connected to your ego which feels comfortable around a particular role, task, or behavior.  The challenge with this type of confidence is that it belongs solely to the mind and the mind is influenced by so many factors.

One of those factors can be a change in circumstances. Many years back I had an experience where I lost complete confidence in my ability to find work or make money after I was unexpectedly retrenched from my high paying job. It took me several months to recover from this experience, yet one simple thing like losing my job had basically destroyed my so-called flamboyant and happy-go-lucky personality.

In reality, my confidence had not gone anywhere. It was still fully functioning and waiting patiently inside me for me to acknowledge it. The only reason that I didn’t experience it was because my mind was now stuck in a spiral of fear, instead of its usual state of calm and balance. That’s how powerful the mind is.

That brings me to the second type of confidence which is by far the most powerful and also the hardest to lose. In fact, once you master this level of confidence you’ll never doubt yourself again. Best of all, it doesn’t belong to the mind – it belongs to you.

So, how does it work?

The best way I can explain this is to talk about self-worth. If you believe that you are fundamentally okay as a human being and you know in every cell of your body that you deserve to happy, healthy, and fulfilled, then your self-worth is intact. If you don’t, then your self-confidence will most likely only ever be superficial at best.

Wherever you lack self-worth, that’s where you’ll find that a lack of confidence appears in your life. The good news though is that when you increase your self-worth, then your confidence automatically increases.

Self-Confidence Made Simple

So how exactly do you increase your self-worth so that you value yourself more than you currently do?

That’s the simple part. You focus more on what’s right about you, than what you believe to be wrong with you. If you spend twice as much time reminding yourself that you love and approve of yourself regardless of what’s going on in your life, then you will double your confidence in no time flat.

I used to think that because I was fit, strong, healthy, had a good job, and had great friends that these things helped with my confidence. But when I lost all those things and all I had left was stress and anxiety I knew that my idea about confidence was a fraud.

Once this dawned on me I knew I had to start looking for the truth about what confidence was really made up of.  This simple shift in focus helped me to get started on the most empowering journey of my life.

Before I knew it I’d spent a bunch of time and money on personal development programs, seminars, workshops, books, and retreats. As a result, it became crystal clear to me that all my self-confidence issues were limiting or negative beliefs that I had given power to since I was born.

Once I understood this, then the solution became obvious. I just needed to stop giving my power away to old patterns of thinking and feeling, and the way to do that was to make friends with those parts of me that lived in doubt and fear.

I did this by doing 20 minutes a day of mindful meditation. The focus of my meditation was to just sit and watch whatever thoughts and emotions that came up, and instead of judging those I didn’t like, allowing them to be okay.

This was a very gentle way to start letting go of any judgments I had on myself at a subconscious level. They beautiful part of this technique is that the longer you sit in non-judgment of yourself, the less you start to believe in anything limiting or negative the mind has to say.

I did this meditation each morning and in the evening I would focus for 10 minutes on what I was grateful for about the day. The combination of these two practices was incredibly powerful in helping me to develop a new relationship with my inner-self that was based on acceptance instead of judgment.

If you are looking for something right now in your life to help boost your confidence levels, then start with self-acceptance. Once you stop judging yourself and pushing down things that you don’t like or aren’t comfortable with, then your natural confidence will rise up to the surface of your mind and body.

We don’t ever have a confidence issue, we might think we do but that is never the case. We either experience love or fear. If we are experiencing love, which can also be experienced as happiness, peace, or feeling centered, then our confidence is naturally there – we don’t have to do anything to make it appear. only have love or fear. When we choose love over fear, then our confidence is unwavering. So next time you find yourself judging that you lack confidence in any area of your life, stop for a moment and notice that thought and whatever emotions come with it, and then accept them and let them go.

But if we are experiencing fear, which is also experienced as doubt, anxiety, worry, of feeling uncentered, then until we resolve the fear then there is no chance for confidence because our mind is telling us a story that we are lost in that keeps us from feeling powerful in our lives.

When we choose love over fear, then our confidence is unwavering. So next time you find yourself judging that you lack confidence in any area of your life, stop for a moment and notice the thoughts and feelings you are having, and then accept them and let them go. They’ll only hang around if you aren’t willing to let them go.

You can double your confidence with one simple act of choosing to accept yourself instead of rejecting parts that you don’t like. It’s all part of you. And the sooner you make peace with yourself, the sooner you will fall so deeply in love with life that you’ll wonder how you ever doubted that you were born to be happy, healthy, and free.

Self-acceptance is the key to happiness and inner-peace. If you were to do nothing else with your life but focus on accepting yourself exactly as you are then everything you ever dreamed of would magically start appearing in your life.

If you enjoyed this post please comment and share if you want more content like this

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Michael Atma
Michael Atma Blog
Skype: michaelatma
Email: Michael@MichaelAtma.com

If you’d like to learn mindfulness meditation for free — click here now!