Have you ever noticed that what you say and the intention that it was said with can often be massively misunderstood?

I wrote a post the other day about commitment and how if we are overflowing with love from within then what need is there to commit to love outside of us and boy did I get some interesting feedback. I had everything from I was wrongly promoting free love and sex to sending out the wrong message to kids.

Now, this is not about the feedback as in all truth it make me smile and I don’t take it personal anyway but it did get me to thinking how easy it is for us to receive things in ways they were not intended. How many examples can you think of, of times when you have had good intentions about something only to have it backfire on you and then you become the object of someones wrath or disdain?

It’s really interesting to note how we react in these times as really how people receive anything be it a compliment, a good deed, a gift, or even advice we might feel drawn to share, is not in our control. In fact, it’s far healthier for us to have no expectations of how anything we do will be received – ever

We all receive things according to a whole bunch of factors including mood, mindset, beliefs, any expectations we may have, how present we are and what is being triggered by what is being given.

The games we play with each other because of personality conflicts and differing opinions is very complicated and ultimately we are either open to receive unconditionally with compassion and peace or with judgment.

The human mind is so fragile, especially when it has it’s beliefs challenged.

That is how wars are started. But it’s so easy to end both the inner war and the outer war just by realizing that we don’t have to change anyone’s beliefs – just accept them.

If our intentions are pure than that has to be enough. If what we think, say or do is misread or interpreted in a way that upsets others – then so be it.

We’re not here to win friends and influence people as some clown once wrote a book about. We are here to be unapologetically ourselves and that always has to be enough.

If you’re keen to have more conversations like this then come join us in my private group Transcend where the truth really will set you free 

Click here to join >>> https://www.facebook.com/groups/transcendlimits

Have you ever noticed how people say they value the truth until it sounds like something
that they don’t agree with?

Here’s the thing though, I’ve found that not everyone can handle the truth and that sometimes sharing your deepest truth is not the best option.

For example, I rarely shared the truth of my spiritual journey with my father as he simply didn’t have the space to receive it and all it would have done was drive an even bigger wedge between us.

Instead, I kept my truth to myself and connected with him on the level of his truth unless he specifically showed interest in mine. This way, I was able to keep our relationship alive and open for the possibility that one day he might be able to handle the truth.

Fortunately, this happened before my father passed away and by that stage he was one of my biggest fans as he opened his heart and mind to a world he never even knew existed.

I also received a message from him after he passed that he was proud of what I was doing in the world as he was now able to truly see what I had devoted my life to.

So my message today is sometimes it’s better to keep your truth to yourself until the timing is right to do otherwise. I see so many people kill relationships by blurting out their truth to people they know or love only to be mocked or judged for their truth.

Don’t do this to yourself or them as everyone deserves to be at peace and what’s the point in disturbing people if we are happy with our own truth?

Being told we are restricted to what to do and where we can go can cause us to feel like we are caged in.

This alone is enough to trigger old energetic patterns inside us that cause us to react to people and circumstances in all sorts of crazy ways.

Our unconscious wounds get activated during times like we are in right now and it becomes so easy to project our negative thoughts or feelings at those around us.

We can be annoyed at the politicians for destroying the economy, people who don’t seem to give a sh!t about precautions, our family members who we are stuck at home with, or pretty much anything that triggers us.

The first thing to know about this is that judgment is normal. It’s what the socially conditioned mind is conditioned to do.

However, when we let it control our words, moods and behavior then it becomes detrimental to us and can be very toxic in our relationships.

Here are some ways that we can reduce the negative impact of judgment in our lives:

1. Judgment is natural and we are doing it all the time so it’s not a ‘bad’ thing, it’s just the way the mind works.
2. If we like something or don’t like something both are based on judgment so don’t sweat it – like or don’t like away!
3. When we judge we are stuck in our head. The way out is to take a few slow, deep breaths into our belly and notice how our mind and body relax almost instantly.
4. Practice becoming aware of your judgment and instead of judging it – accept it. By NOT judging that we judge we stop the dynamics that cause us to get pissed off or upset and instead grants us the opportunity to be at one with ourselves.
5. Forgive yourself and others. When we forgive ourselves for judging then it makes it easier to forgive others. No-one is doing anything too us, they are simply acting out their own wounds. We get to choose to forgive and move on.

The real secret to becoming free from the judgmental mind is to spend time each day not in it.

The best way I have found to do that is through meditation.

Meditation helps us to step back from the busy (judgmental) mind and connect to ourselves at a deeper level of oneness and love.

It’s when we truly allow ourselves to deepen our connection to our heart and being that the mind has less power over us to cause havoc in our lives.

When you add-in the fact that people now have relationships without actually physically meeting each other in some cases, as well as there are less ties to traditional family structures, and more accepting of casual sex, what can we do to make sure we stay happy in our relationships?

Happy Relationship Quotes

“How people treat you is their karma: how you react is yours.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, their yours. If the don’t, they never were.” – Richard Bach

“But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” – Khalil Gibran

How To Be Happy In A Relationship Tips

How did you go? I hope that you can now see how these simple ways to bring more happiness into your relationships can turn even the deepest of frowns into a smile with anyone that you choose to spend time with.

I always say that everyone comes into our lives for a reason and that our opportunity is to create harmony with everyone we come in contact with – even if it’s the last thing we may want to do. This way, we are leaving a trail of happiness behind us wherever we go.

Did This Help You? If so, I would greatly appreciate it if you commented below and shared on Facebook

Michael Atma’s Blog
Skype: michaelatma
Email: Michael@MichaelAtma.com

“I Teach You how to live a Happier, Healthier and More Fulfilling Life in Just 5 Minutes a Day!”

PS: If You Want To Have Fulfilling Relationships, This is the Book you Should Get – Master Your Mindspace

If you  enjoyed this post on How to Have a Happy Relationship, re-tweet and comment please

It’s interesting how relationships make up a big part of our life but it’s not something that gets covered very well as part of our education system.

Essential Communication Skills For Building Healthy Relationships

Relationships are a vital to us as the air we breathe, especially our personal and intimate relationships. To be fulfilled in our relationships depends upon quite a few factors but the most important by far is how we communicate with each other.

When relationships are handled well they can be one of the greatest sources of joy, love and fulfilment you could have ever imagined. And then, if they are handled ineffectively, they can bring pain and suffering to all involved.

Underneath all our defence mechanisms to keep people at distant so we don’t get hurt is a deep rooted desire for connection. When you’re in love and you feel that connection with someone, that special bond, that sense of oneness with somebody how does it feel?

There’s really nothing quite like it on the planet. No amount of money, ‘things’ or anything else can give you that depth of feeling and connection that opening fully to another person can bring.

The essence of all communication and connecting with others be it intimate or not comes from trust. If the other person feels safe to be themselves in your presence and they know that you would never intentionally harm them, then they have no need to put up walls.

The secret though is that you must never take this trust for granted because once it’s broken, it’s almost impossible to get it back. Trust typically takes time to develop but once it’s there do everything in your power to honor this agreement.

Creating A Healthy Relationship

So what do we mean by a healthy relationship? Typically, this is relationship in which we are a great source of growth and support for each other, while strengthening ourselves in the process.

Discovering how we can enrich and empower one another is the most rewarding journey towards more meaningful relationships. The more we open up, the more others will respond and accept us for who we are.

This simple act helps us to not feel so vulnerable and to become freer and more alive in our relationships than we may have ever experienced before.  When this happens, every contact becomes meaningful and enriching.

Inevitably there will be times that you don’t see things eye to eye with others and conflict can arise. When this happens it’s always healthier in a relationship to take the time to understand what is going on for the other, before trying to be understood.

This way, you get to show them that they can trust in you to be responsive in the relationship rather than reactive. Not only does this help them to feel safe to express themselves openly and honestly to you, it helps you to become a more loving and compassionate human being.

My Final Thoughts On Healthy Relationships

Being in a relationship with anyone is a privilege, not a right.  Most people are sensitive in nature even if they don’t want to admit it, which means they will almost always feel the need to automatically protect themselves if they feel threatened in any way.

If you want people to love and accept you for who you are, or to open their heart and Soul to you at the deepest levels, then follow these simple guidelines:

1. Relationships are a place to go to give, not receive.
2. Always treat others how you want to be treated.
3. Love and accept yourself first, then you’ll be better equipped to love and accept others.
4. Live with Integrity
5. Never make anyone feel ashamed about who they are
6. Leave every person you meet feeling better than when they arrived.
7. Empower others to be free and your love will have no boundaries.

If you’re in a relationship that is not in a healthy place then don’t despair because as long as you are willing to work on loving yourself more and becoming the best possible person you can be, then all is not lost.

The more deeply we love and accept ourselves, the deeper we can love and accept others – this is the place where both magic and miracles happen in relationships.

Did This Help You? If so, I would greatly appreciate it if you commented below and shared on Facebook

Michael Atma’s Blog
Skype: michaelatma
Email: Michael@MichaelAtma.com

“I Teach You how to live a Happier, Healthier and More Fulfilling Life in Just 5 Minutes a Day!”

PS: If You Want To Enjoy An Extraordinary Life, This is the Book you Should Get – Master Your Mindspace

If you enjoyed this post on Building Healthy Relationships That Work, re-tweet and comment please

All too often we assume that we know what others mean by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear understanding of what’s really going on. This inevitably leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.

The Secret To STRESS FREE Relationships.

The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master the skill of being agreeable! If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of common sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with what you though, said or did?

Did you thank them, give them a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not!

The bottom line is that people don’t like being disagreed with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict. You have a choice every time you relate with another person. You can either be agreeable in nature and in communication or you can be disagreeable.

The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration. It costs nothing to agree with someone else’s point of view even if you think it’s ridiculous. Who are we to judge how another person views their life and the world around them.

Conflict always arises from disagreement’s which then leads to power struggles. This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome is tension and resentment.

So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is saying?

Ask if it’s OK to share your opinion. If the answer is no, then to keep your relationships stress free keep your mouth zipped tight. Changes topics if you need to or go do something fun together but let it go and move on.

The skill of understanding.

The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you remember a time recently when you were talking with someone and they either interrupted you before you finished talking and started talking about themselves or completely ignored
what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?

I know that’s happened to me thousands of times. Well guess what, if you didn’t like it I can guarantee you that others won’t like it if you do it to them. By listening attentively to what others say and not interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing stress and tension in your relationships because the people you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.

This builds trust and respect, which are two of the most important ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.

Here are 4 keys to master the skill of understanding

1. Don’t interrupt unless you have something urgent to attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to meet with them that you can give your undivided attention.

2. Look them in the eye and keep your body language open

3. Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This lets the person who is talking know that you are really listening to them.

4. Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for clarity before sharing you’re opinion. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is being said.

The only time to try and get others to understand you is after you have understood them. Then they are more receptive to what you have to say. This skill is one of the most important in building good bonds between people that are stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting others know that they matter.

Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no accident. They are skillfully developed over time by people who care about people. These secrets will only work if you apply them. The more you apply them, the less stress you’ll have in relationships.

1. Is There Love?

This is the first question to ask yourself. It’s a simple answer of either yes or no. Don’t make it any more complex than that. Yes, you might be pissed off at them, hurt, angry, scared or whatever but underneath that, is there still love. If not, then it’s probably time to move on.

Without a foundation of love, then all that’s left is staying with someone out of fear. Fear of being alone; fear of the unknown; fear of what others will think; fear of the future. It doesn’t matter what the fear is, the fact is it is still fear… And in life we either get to choose to live with love, or fear.

This is a question that can only be answered from your heart. If it comes from your head then it is not going to be right anyway because your head can go from love to hate in seconds depending on what’s going on. But your heart either has love for someone, or it doesn’t.

If you don’t know what’s in your heart towards your intimate partner, then this is the first thing you need to get in touch with. It may require that you give yourself some space for awhile to get in touch with your heart and feelings, especially if there is a layer of pain in the way.

2. Any Type of Abuse is Not Okay

If you are in an abusive relationship, or if it escalates to this level frequently or at all, then that is a deal breaker.  It’s never okay for someone to be abusive towards you, or for you to tolerate it by trying to convince yourself that they didn’t mean it, or it will get better – it probably won’t.

Unless that person takes full responsibility for their aggressive and violent behavior, and actually takes steps to change it, then they are not sincere about doing something about it either. I have worked with many people who justify staying in abusive relationships because they were afraid of what would happen if they left.

This is often a very real threat and in some cases, especially for women, they need a tremendous amount of support to help them end the relationship without being further abused, or violently injured or worse. There are women’s shelters and groups of people that can help out in these instances.

The reality is though that it is never okay to settle for being abused in any relationship. Not from your lover, not from your friends, not from a family member, and not from workmates, or anyone at all. To do so is to reinforce that you don’t deserve to be treated with love and respect.

3. Get Help As Soon As You Recognize You Need It

As soon as you are aware that your relationship is in trouble, then swallow your pride and do something about it. Seek professional help before it’s too late. Once a certain amount of damage happens in a relationship, there’s typically no going back.

Seeking help is not a weakness. It is an acknowledgement by two people that they do not have the necessary skills or tools to be able to resolve their differences without the help of a third party that has no inverstment in either sides story abnd can see things from a more objective perspective.

Healing always happens as soon as responsibility starts to happen.

What I mean by this is that you accept and acknowledge full ownership over your contribution to where the relationship is at. Anything less is to stay stuck in the ‘blame’ game.

4. No Blame, No Shame, No Pain.

This is the real secret to happy and fulfilling relationships. Simply stop placing blame or accepting blame for what’s not working in the relationship. All blame does is remove you from any responsibility and then you both lose.   The moment you stop the blame game, then healing can happen.

The other thing that is also crucial to a  healthy relationships is to NEVER make your partner feel ashamed about who they are. This does psychological and emotional damage to a relationship, and creates a chasm of mistrust and resentment that can often never be overcome.

By shame, I mean putting others down or making them feel like they are not okay in some way. The only reason anyone ever put’s other’s down is because they have a need to feel superior, or right. It doesn’t matter which as the result is the same.

5. Do You Want To Be Right or Happy?

This is the most powerful way to heal any relationship challenges. Simple give up your need to be right, or to prove the other person wrong. What’s the point? All that does is strengthen the gap between you and means that you’re more concerned about ‘winning’ than creating peace and happiness.

It’s really simple to reverse this behavior. Just let your partner know that you understand where they are at and don’t try to make it better or worse in any way. It’s not your job to fix them, just the same as it’s not your job to continue to try and hurt them.

This means that you have to put aside your need to be right, or understood for the moment, and take the higher ground by letting the other person at least feel seen and heard. Just applying this strategy will help to immediately start to dissove any conflict that may be brewing.

I call this the power of ‘agreeing’. Even if they are calling you names and telling you what a loser you are, then instead of attacking back, put the fire out by saying, “You know, you might be right!”

The fact is they must think you are whatever they are calling you anyway, so by agreeing with their thoughts and feelings you are standing on their side of the street looking back at you – rather than looking in the opposite direction.

This is so incredibly powerful that it can instantly diffuse even the most heated of encounters.

6. Know Your Needs

At the core of any disagreement or unhappy relationship you will always find that one or both parties are not getting their needs met. This requires you to sit down together when you are in a calm place and one at a time let your partner know what your needs are and if they are willing to meet them.

If there are any needs that your partner is not willing to meet, and you are not willing to drop or change that need, then you will need to decide if you can be with someone that is unwilling or unable to meet one of your primary relationship needs.

• This can include things like:
• The needs to feel safe
• The need to feel valued and respected
• The need to be shown love
• The need to be accepted for who you are
• The need feel desired
• The need to feel that you are both close and care about each other
• The need to feel wanted and needed
• The need for honesty, trust and forgiveness

… Just to name a few.

7. Keep It Fresh

Last, but not least, treat each new day with your loved one as though it’s your first, and your last. Who know’s if you’ll both be with each other tomorrow because tomorrow is never a certainty.

When you wake up in the morning give thanks that they are in your life and think of at least 10 things that you love about them and are grateful for. Then, plan one thing you will do with or for them on this day that you have never done before.

When you look at them, look at the with the eyes of newness, as if you have never seen them before. Fall in love with them all over again, even if it’s just because of the way they smile, or anything at all that touches your heart.

Keep your heart open at all times and take at least 5 minutes each day to spend quality time with your partner where you just be together without any distraction. This can look like sitting opposite each other gazing into each other eyes; giving each other a sensual massage; going for a walk hand-in-hand along the beach; or anything at all that helps you to connect with each other physically and emotionally.

Most of all, remember that relationships are a privilege and not a right. Keep your relationship fresh and alive and learn how to quickly diffuse any tension that arise between you as this will help you both to not get stuck in negative patterns.

Intimate relationships are a very special part of life and are meant to be enjoyed and rejoiced, and not look like two countries at war. The only war that ever happens is the one inside you. If you have peace and joy in your heart, then you will have a peaceful and joyous relationship – it really is that simple.