Resistance is our tendency. Especially when we feel pain. When we feel pain, emotional, or otherwise, we want to resist it. In some ways, it feels right to resist what hurts, what scares us, what we don’t want.

And it’s just not human nature to embrace the pain. But pain is not the cause of the problem; it’s the effect of a deeper problem. When you resist it, you perpetuate it, you feed it.

Even Buddha says that since our mind creates everything, no external cause is really creating any pain for us. It’s the illusion within that creates the pain we feel.

The external cause is what draws our attention to the pain that already exists.

What this means in real terms is that when we resolve the pain within the external situations tend to drop away, as does our suffering.

Blame is also a form of resistance. The more we blame, the more our pain and suffering hang on. The way to break free from this cycle is through forgiveness.

Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of ourselves. Then, we are free to move on.

When we hang onto beliefs, circumstances, attitudes, or people that are no longer serving us or our growth then we are resisting opening the door for new people and opportunities to come our way.

We all have something we can let go of more deeply and when we do then we are once again setting ourselves free from unnecessary pain and suffering.

In essence, we when stop resisting the flow of life and learn to surrender to what is being asked of us at the moment then we are on the path of love and empowerment.

If you’d like to learn more about how to flow with change and have less pain and suffering as a result then come join us in my Transcend Limits Group on Facebook.

With so much going on in the world right now it’s understandable how some people would not be feeling so great.

However, at any moment we have a choice whether to wallow in our self-misery, or rise-up and step into our self-mastery.

Mastery is usually defined as being highly skilled or proficient in one or more areas of life.

To me, self-mastery takes this to the next level. It is to become the master in ALL areas of your life and understand that you are your own guru.

In essence, it means taking full responsibility for your own life and no longer making excuses for why things happen or don’t happen.

In a sense, self-mastery is the foundation for spiritual mastery as it involves discipline and practice combined with the willingness to let go of how things need to unfold.

If we want to improve say our health then to have self-mastery in that area we need to study what health is and then apply it to ourselves until we master it.

If we want to improve our finances then we need to study money and apply what we learn about it until we master it.

This goes for every area of our life. We can practice and become the master of anything we focus on but to do it in all areas of our long process which requires a high level of self-discipline and dedication.

The other way, which requires just as much discipline and dedication are to become the master you already are by connecting to your inner self that is beyond the ego.

It is said that when you remember who and what you are at the deepest level then you have become the master and now self-mastery is not needed at all.

Until then, if you notice any areas of your life are not where you want them to be then go all-in on them. Sometimes, by focusing on the area that is being neglected the most it will naturally lift up the others as you master it.

We are the masters of our destiny in every moment through the thoughts, words, emotions, and deeds we give power to. When we fully realize this – then we truly do become limitless!

Take the gym, for example, I used to train 1-hour x 4-days a week and now I do just 15 minutes a day maximum and that includes doing both strength and cardio fitness.

The result is that I’m now feeling fitter and stronger than I have in years. All it took was a little research around how peak athletes stay in condition without spending hours a day wearing themselves out.

We can also apply the less is more method to any area of our life. It’s really a case of working smarter instead of harder and figuring out how to get the same or better results with less effort.

Another example is that it is possible to spend less time working and yet make the same if not more money. It’s just a shift in mindset around how much you value your time.

If you get paid $50 an hour now then what would it take to make $100 an hour or $500 an hour? While the less is more method may not necessarily apply to everything if you think of it in terms of quality instead of quantity then you’ll be on the right track.

I’m really enjoying applying the mantra less is more everywhere I can and focusing more on optimizing my time, energy, and lifestyle instead of wasting it.

Where in your life could you be enjoying more happiness, health, energy, love, or prosperity by applying the less is more method?

This could be less self-judgment which brings more self-love; less worry which brings more peace; less busyness which brings more relaxation; or even being less controlling which brings more spontaneity and freedom.

Life really is one gigantic experiment as none of us really know what we’re doing. So why not make the most of it and see how much more we can enjoy it while doing less to make it happen

In that short time, we can either focus on what’s wrong with our life and feel defeated or we can focus on what’s right with it and feel limitless.

Inside, we all have a diamond that is waiting to dazzle the world, and the moment that we accept this is the moment the rubble on top will start to fall away.

When we look at others we can either see the rubble or notice the diamond and depending on how we look will determine how things appear.

The answers we seek lie within – they always have. There is nothing anyone can say about us or to us that will change this truth.

Until we let our diamond shine brightly into the world we will always wonder what we are here to do.

It’s really quite simple… you are here to do you! The version of you that is unapologetic about who you are and why you are here.

The version of you that can be told you are wrong by a million people and yet in your heart you know it’s true for you which is all that matters.

The version of you that loves yourself first and then gives in abundance when your cup is overflowing.

The version of you who is a walking ambassador of your message and mission in the world.

In essence, dare to be different and when the crowd doesn’t agree with the direction you are going in just smile and wish them well as life’s too short to stay ordinary.

What we focus on grows. If we focus on what we don’t have – we’ll have even less, and if we focus on what we do have – we’ll have even more.

The reason for this is that our energy flows where our attention goes. This is where it gets interesting though… do you know what the root cause of suffering is in human beings? I’ll give you a hint it has to do with focus. That’s right, it’s our own thought-forms that we identify with as being real. The moment we make our thoughts real by giving them undue attention they become our reality.

Now, reality has nothing to do with our thoughts as they are linear in nature and can’t exist in the present. They are either of the past or the future. When we dwell on negative thoughts from the past or fearful thoughts of the future that is when we suffer.

When we allow these thoughts to come and go without getting attached to them, just like clouds float by in the sky, then the mind stays calm, clear, and alert. In this calm, clear state there is no suffering to be found. Let me be clear… nothing we ‘think’ is real – it’s a thought about reality. For example, you may look at an apple and think, “it’s an apple’ and you wouldn’t be wrong because whatever we think is true is true for us.

However, if you were to look at the same apple underneath and electron microscope at 100,000 times the magnification the apple disappears and all that’s left is atoms and molecules. And, if you look closely at an atomic structure of any kind you’ll find it’s 99% space. So what is true about an apple? It actually doesn’t exist – yet it does because we make it so.

The reason why this is so important is that you and I are the ones that are giving meaning to every thought-form that arises in us and when we do be it positive or negative – that is how our life looks and feels. We can change how things look and feel real easy by changing the way we look at things. It’s like when you are looking at something real close that appears scary and all of a sudden you are transported to the top of a mountain and now it seems so small and insignificant.

Thoughts are not meant to control our reality yet because we don’t understand the nature of the mind inevitably they do for most people. Just like 99% of fear is imagined in our head (thoughts) so too are the millions of ways we look at life that keep us stuck in doubt, lack, loneliness, or struggle – it’s all just thoughts.

The way out is to go within and realize that we are not our thoughts or emotions. We are not even our bodies. Yes, they exist but they are not the truth of what we are.

And until we have glimpses of ourselves beyond the bombardment of our tens of thousands of thoughts a day, then we’ll always be trapped in a prison of our own making.

What we focus on grows so it is up to us to focus on those thoughts that empower us and support us to explore more love, joy, happiness, and freedom. To do this it helps to have a growth mindset rather than a fixed one as rigid thinking literally gets us nowhere.

Get curious about your mind because it’s the part of us that we spend the majority of our time in so it makes sense to make friends with it. To do this though requires retraining of our relationship with the mind.

As we train our mind to become more present and engaged with what we are doing in the moment – free from distraction or judgment, and aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting attached to them – we become free.

In teaching the mind to be present, we are teaching ourselves to live more mindfully – to not get caught up in reactive thoughts or feelings – which is highly useful when faced with challenging circumstances or situations.

If you want to dive deeper into conversations like this then come join us in my Facebook Group – Transcend Limits and see you on the other side

What if we realized that the very thing we are trying to fix about ourselves is just a part of us that we are judging instead of accepting?

If we can accept ourselves, then we can accept anything. But if we reject ourselves then we are also rejecting life. To get to this space though we would need to also accept that nothing is separate from us and everything is connected. Our conditioning has taught us not to accept ourselves and therefore we have to be fixed or improved. All this does is create anxiety within us and a deep sense of unease.

The way back to be at ease with ourselves and existence is to recognize that our life automatically improves when we accept who we are. How strange it is that we think we need to improve because at some level we believe we are not okay as we are.

When, in reality, we are perfect as we are and the sooner we accept this sooner our life improves.

Have you ever noticed how people say they value the truth until it sounds like something
that they don’t agree with?

Here’s the thing though, I’ve found that not everyone can handle the truth and that sometimes sharing your deepest truth is not the best option.

For example, I rarely shared the truth of my spiritual journey with my father as he simply didn’t have the space to receive it and all it would have done was drive an even bigger wedge between us.

Instead, I kept my truth to myself and connected with him on the level of his truth unless he specifically showed interest in mine. This way, I was able to keep our relationship alive and open for the possibility that one day he might be able to handle the truth.

Fortunately, this happened before my father passed away and by that stage he was one of my biggest fans as he opened his heart and mind to a world he never even knew existed.

I also received a message from him after he passed that he was proud of what I was doing in the world as he was now able to truly see what I had devoted my life to.

So my message today is sometimes it’s better to keep your truth to yourself until the timing is right to do otherwise. I see so many people kill relationships by blurting out their truth to people they know or love only to be mocked or judged for their truth.

Don’t do this to yourself or them as everyone deserves to be at peace and what’s the point in disturbing people if we are happy with our own truth?

Integrity is one of those things that you either have or you don’t. It has nothing to do with ‘doing the right thing’ and has everything to do with being in alignment with who you are.

It literally means that what you say and do are totally aligned. Anything less basically means you are sending mixed messages to the world around you which feels to others like a lack of honesty and authenticity coming from you. Not to mention your subconscious then builds a belief around it and then it becomes a habit.

Without integrity it will be hard for people to trust you. An example of this is a business owner who expects the best from his team yet in the background does nothing but run around barking orders and putting people down rather than being an example that inspires others to step up.

When what you say and do doesn’t line up then the message to your inner world is also that you can’t be trusted. As you continue to justify your behavior and make excuses for not being a person that keeps their word then it has a flow on negative impact on your self respect and esteem.

This can then result in external things in your life like your work, finances, relationships or health starting to fall apart around you. Ultimately, lack of integrity creates an internal split inside you that can only be healed by coming back into the wholeness that living with integrity provides.

Three Steps To Unstoppable Integrity

In days gone by there have been times that I have been out of integrity more often than I’d like to admit. Yet, out of the rubble of the mess I made came much growth and awakening. It wasn’t until I started focusing on the relationship I had with myself that my integrity started to strengthen.

Here’s what I found worked to help me rebuild my inner trust and become a person of integrity again:

1. Your word is your bond

If you say you are going to do something then do whatever you can to honor it. By failing to honor our word we undermine ourselves and diminish who we are as a person. Now, it’s not always going to be possible to keep your word as things sometimes happen that are out of our control. But, if you are a person of integrity, you will always honor your word.   It’s when you don’t honor your word that you mess up and then you need to clean up or fix the mess.

2. Make a declaration to yourself

The foundation of being a person who lives and breathes integrity starts with you. Make a declaration to yourself that, “I am a person of my word”, and “I give my word to myself that I am a person of integrity.” Don’t make this declaration lightly otherwise it’s just going to be hot air. Tell others what you are doing so that not only you hold yourself accountable, but others will as well.

3. Cultivate integrity daily

Integrity is like a muscle. The more you work it – the stronger it gets. The more you keep your word and follow through with what you say you are going to do the more self-respect you will develop. As this grows, so to will your identity of being a person of integrity.

Being in integrity automatically means that you are in alignment mentally, physically and spiritually with yourself. This alignment then gets expressed through your words and actions that are a vibrational match.  It is also the simplest way to live a life of authenticity and wholeness.

The greatest and most inspiring leaders that you know you can trust will always be people who live with integrity. Sure, there are leaders who ooze charisma yet lack substance but that’s okay as their lack of integrity will be blatantly obvious if you look close enough at their actions.

I don’t tend to focus on the integrity of others though as honestly it’s irrelevant. You can’t change who people are but you can change yourself. I focus on making sure that I keep my word and that if for some reason I can’t then I still honor my word. That way my integrity stays intact.

If you’re not sure what I mean by honoring your word then let me explain. We can honor our word by either keeping our word as it was expressed when we made it, or as soon as we know we won’t be able to keep our word, we inform any other parties involved in advance so that they are kept in the loop and not left out to dry.

This also applies to yourself. If you say you are going to go to the gym five times this week then make sure to follow through and do it. Otherwise, your integrity will diminish and you won’t even be able to trust yourself let alone anyone else trusting your or your word.

My final recommendation is that if you are sincere about being a person of integrity, then think carefully before giving your word to anyone or anything – ever! It’s better to commit to nothing than to make frivolous promises that you had not intention of keeping.

Step into the next level of self mastery and leadership by being the embodiment of integrity in all areas of your life. This is how we can not only elevate ourselves but also be the change the world needs right now.

Obviously, this can happen in a variety of ways but I’m going to get real specific here about one particular thing people do to give away their power.

It’s called justifying yourself! So what is justification, why do we do it and what can be done about it?

Justification is when we offer (or don’t) an explanation of our choices for a variety of reasons. The key here is that explaining is the way you’ve been giving away your power.

It’s not always a negative thing either as the need to explain our lives away can be motivated by fear, guilt, or even self-doubt and it can also be an honoring or ourselves and others.

The subconscious need to justify ourselves to others or have them justify themselves to us most likely has it’s root in our childhood where we are rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior.

It makes sense then that when you are justifying yourself to another when there is no need you have become the child in that relationship and they the parent. This is obviously not healthy for either of you as it is toxic in nature and opens the door for blame and resentment.

Think about it in reverse. When was the last time you asked or expected someone to justify themselves to you? What was going on for you at the time? Perhaps you were frustrated or upset about something the other did or didn’t do and you were subconsciously looking to them to make you feel better about yourself?

Giving away your power by explaining your decisions and actions to others keeps you stuck in the belief that you are not okay at some level. This limiting belief then continues to attract people into your life that will happily take your power away from you.

This pattern is all too familiar in intimate relationships and is a sure-fired recipe to kill any chance for love if left unchecked. The most obvious example of this is the control freak who constantly wants you to explain yourself so that he or she feels like they are in charge.

What’s The Payoff In Justifying Yourself?

Here’s some of the main ways we benefit from justifying ourselves:

• We’re trying to ease our own feeling of guilt
• We’re trying to control the other persons response
• We’re insecure about our own choices and want the other person to validate our decision.
• We want to stay hidden so that others see us in a way that keeps the peace
• We are defending against feeling badly about ourselves by trying to convince others what we did was the best we could do
• We want to have a closer, more open connection with the other person

As you can see from the last point, it’s not always going to be giving away your power if you choose to explain your decisions to someone. It depends on the intention behind it and how unapologetic you can be towards yourself.  The way I look at it is that it’s none of my business what others think about me unless I make it so.

I used to put a lot of energy into explaining my decisions and actions. Sometimes, they were an honest attempt to seek to be understood but often they were a result of my own self-doubt and innate desire for people to approve of me.

Since then, I wised up. Once I started to accept myself and take full responsibility for my choices that’s when all my relationships changed for the better. I started to catch myself starting to explain my choices to someone and would notice if it was necessary or not.

Over time I discovered effective ways to communicate with others that didn’t involve giving my power away. This was a big learning curve for me as it wasn’t easy at first but now after many years it’s become second nature.

The first rule of not giving away you power is that no-one is responsible for how you think and feel except you. Sure, others can say and do things that upset you but you are the one that is choosing to receive their words and energy in a negative way.

Life is neither positive or negative these traits are decided by the way you look at things. Someone can look at snow and be deliriously happy while others can look at it and be annoyed. The snow stays the same but what people think and feel about it depends on whose looking.

This is such an important thing to consider in today’s world as everything is moving so quickly that very few people are slowing down enough to look at themselves first before lashing out at others.

That’s why learning how to stop giving your power away to others is needed now more than ever and it starts with you learning five simple strategies to master what I call the power of non-justification.

5 Ways To Stop Justifying Yourself

Here are my top five tips on how you can stop giving away your power through non-justification.

1. Drop these words

Words have power and can even be a source of giving away your power if you allow it. There are three words you can drop from your vocabulary immediately that will help you to stop justifying yourself to others. The words are; ‘just’, ‘but’, and ‘because’. The next time you find yourself being asked to explain yourself try doing so without using these words.

2. I chose it

There are plenty of other words you can use that help you to keep your power. Words like; ‘I chose to’ or ‘I chose not to’; ‘I like it or I don’t like it’; and ‘I want to’ or I don’t want to’ are just a few examples of words you can use to take your life and power back.

3. Yes & No

By far the two most powerful words we can use are yes and no. Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. Nothing else is needed. The moment you start to explain why you have said yes or no then you start to sell yourself out.

4.  Use short statements of fact

There’s nothing wrong with giving a reason why you did or didn’t do something as long as you keep it short and factual. Once you start going into a lengthy explanation that there’s no need for that’s when it becomes dis-empowering.

5. Ask Questions

This strategy tends to be a last resort when someone is quite persistent about you needing to explain yourself. It’s more a deflection tactic that puts the question back on them as to why they need you to justify yourself to them.

Here’s an example:

You: “I was just offered a new job that I recently applied for!”

Them: “I see… are you going to take it?”

You: “Yes, I am!”

Them: “Well, I didn’t know you wanted that job, why didn’t you tell me!?”

This is where you are now being asked to justify your decision. You are under no obligation to answer this unless you want to. I’d either make a short statement of fact such as; “Well, I’m telling you now!”

Or, put it back on them and ask them a question like:

“Why does it matter if I told you or not?”

Whenever someone is asking you to make them feel better about an uncomfortable thought or feeling they are having and you reinforce this game with them then it’s a lose-lose scenario. You lose because you empower the belief that you have to justify yourself to be okay and they lose because they don’t get to look at themselves.

We can only control how we show up when relating to others. How others react or respond to that has nothing to do with us.

What you can do is to pay attention to what is happening in your mind and body. Are you anxious, tense, or worried about the other persons feelings? Or, perhaps you are feeling resentful but unable to express your anger? If so, then before you say anything take a moment to give yourself space to think and breathe before you say or do anything.

It may feel awkward at first, especially if you are used to rescuing people from their own feelings, yet it may also feel exhilarating too.  Explaining may have been the way that you were giving your power away in the past but that does not mean that your future has to be the same.

Last Thoughts!

Thanks for taking the time to invest in your expansion in this part of your life. You now have some simple strategies to stop justifying yourself so that you can reclaim your personal power and integrity.

There really are NO LIMITS to what you can be, do or have except for any self-imposed ones.

I’m insanely committed to helping people to live the life they were meant to live. Whats in the way is whatever limiting beliefs and habits that are holding you back mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually.

That’s why every now and then I run a 5-Week Group Coaching Program called ‘Boundless Energy‘ which is specifically designed to redefine whats possible in your relationships, career and the quality of your life.

Each week dives deep into an area of your life that gives you the FREEDOM to create a life of your choosing and make a significant impact during your time on this earth. If you’d like to know more about this then Click Here or  go to https://www.michaelatma.com/boundless-energy to see when I’ll be offering this program again.

This is just a sample of how I love to help people to step into their greatness.  Make sure to let me know how you go practicing non-justification in your everyday life by dropping me an email at hello@michaelatma.com or joining me on Facebook at: Meditation Dojo 

To life,

Michael Atma

Author, Transformation Coach & Speaker

I never really thought much about intuition until I started to learn to meditate. Through meditation I came to have a greater sensitivity to that part of me that was picking up on invisible signals around me.

Once I knew how to tune into it and realized just how accurate it was in leading me in the right direction in my life I was hooked. Since then, I have followed my intuition without hesitation. It’s like my best friend now and it’s helped me to make decisions that logically didn’t make sense at the time but have led me to my dream life.

I believe we all have the ability to tap into this unlimited resource and use it not only in our lives but in how we relate and interact with others.

So what exactly is intuition?

It’s the first impulse you have about something before your mind kicks in. In fact, sometimes the mind jumps in so fast with it’s opinions, reasons, doubts, fears, etc that if you’re not paying attention it gets lost in the avalanche of self-talk.

3 Steps To Developing Your Intuition

Here’s my top three ways to start allowing more intuition in your life.

1.  Learn To Trust Your Inner Knowing

The biggest key to developing your intuitive ability is to trust. Trust that first voice you hear in your head instead of pushing it aside or overriding it with reason. Sometimes, it can be as simple as a feeling in your stomach or heart that something is not right. Other times, it can look like a moment of synchronicity.

You intuition is always communicating with you and can also be felt as an impulse to do something that may not a lot of sense to you. That’s where the trust comes in. The more you trust your first impulse, thought, feeling or knowing and take action on them the more powerful your intuition will become.

2. Let Go Of The Doubting Mind

Secondly, let go of any kind of limiting thoughts and beliefs about what’s possible using your intuition. Some people believe that they need to be intelligent in order to make smart decisions, yet that is just a belief.  You have to let that belief go and understand that intuition is not the same as regular intelligence. It’s is actually a higher intelligence.

Using your intuition is allowing you to tap into what’s possible outside of what you’ve already done and thought have been created. It gives you even a higher intelligence. So step 1 is just let go of any limiting beliefs to have around using your intuition or what it means about you, any of that.

3. Connect To Your Body

It’s actually quite challenging to connect to your intuition when you are rushing around using your head all the time. Your intuition is a subtle energy that works best when you slow down and get out of your head for a moment.

That’s why things like meditation, yoga, exercise and even simple things like brushing your teeth or having a shower can help you to tune in more. It’s all about creating some space in your head so that you are more receptive to access your intuition to help with your health, finances, career and even love.