One of my mentors once said to me, “Michael, it’s none of your business what others think about you.”

I sat with that for a while until I finally got it. Since then, I have had this mantra running through my head 24/7. It’s actually been a Godsend as I’ve been able to lean into it whenever someone may be being negative or having a go at me.

When we go through life worrying about what others may be thinking we’re just putting the brakes on being who we truly are.

We get one shot at life (at least this time around) and being n.i.c.e just to keep the peace and not rock the boat only undermines our own self-esteem and integrity.

If you are too much for people then they are NOT your people – move on, unfollow them, block them, or whatever.

There are so many things that are wrong in the world right now and we either sit back and take it up the a$$ like good little citizens or we express our truth and let the chips fall where they will.

When I walked away from my ‘normal’ life and decided to just follow my heart and be true to myself I lost all my friends and my family disowned me (except my mother).

The thing is it actually didn’t bother me a bit as I loved who I was becoming and how my life was. It was so refreshing to not have to ‘fit in’ with family shit anymore or pretend to be someone I wasn’t.

I don’t live to please anyone anymore and it is so liberating. It doesn’t mean I’m not compassionate or kind but it does mean that I won’t modify who I am to fit in or appease the egos of others.

When you stop caring, and I mean really stop caring about trying to please others you will finally be free to be yourself – I promise!

Sometimes, being silent is enough, or simply saying yes or no when you mean it will suffice. Other times, people won’t like what they hear and will want you to make them feel better. Well – just don’t.

Because then you will stay stuck in the emotional manipulation games that everyone else is playing and you will loathe yourself for it on the inside.

Be strong, be courageous, and dare to be yourself as your soul is waiting for you to step the fu@k up and be who you were born to be without any apologies or hesitation.

The world needs your medicine but when it is hidden behind people-pleasing and wearing masks then was it the real slim shady at anyway?

Everything we need to be happy, whole and free in this world comes from within. 

We are the solution to everything we think is wrong about us or the world as in truth there is nothing wrong but what we perceive to be so. Just being present brings balance to our live which of itself is also a solution. 

Out of presence anything can blossom for there is nothing in the way to resist the flow and expansion of life. To be present we need but to harness the power of our mind so that it works for us rather than against us. 

We are the master of our mind and so we get to choose how we focus it. The mind is a mechanism and we are far more than the mind and body. That’s why the less complicated we make our lives the easier it is to become the solution to anything that may arise that is not in balance.

A simple way to retrain the mind to be your friend instead of your foe is to practice mindfulness. Just by being-here-now with your breath, body or surroundings your mind will become very powerful.

Try it right now if you like.

Step 1. Notice your breath as it comes in through your nose and how your chest or belly expands.

Step 2. Notice your breath moving out through your nose and how your chest or belly deflates.

Step 3. If your mind wanders just keep bringing it back to observing your breath coming in and out of your nostrils. 

That’s it, you’ve now been mindful for as many breaths as you choose.

Mindfulness really is that simple!

As you know most of us humans have so much stuff buried inside us from the past
that it’s any wonder we are even walking around.

Things like pain, trauma, shame, guilt, addiction, depression, and an endless number of ways that we have been wounded through our lives.

The deepest wounds, of course, come from our childhood and are locked in place by age 5.

Then, of course, we get to keep triggering these wounds in our relationships and life events because they haven’t yet been fully healed.

We really are the walking wounded and yet some of us do get to heal.

What makes the difference and how do we finally get relief from our past baggage that we carry around buried in our unconscious?

What I’ve discovered that’s helped me and thousands of others like me is that one of the keys to healing our wounds is to change the relationship we have with our mind.

If the relationship we have with our mind is based on it being in control of us rather than us being the master of it – then we are screwed.

As long as we stay a slave to our mind and beliefs then we are forever stuck in the past and subject to re-creating all our buried wounds over-and-over again.

This is because our mind and emotions are connected. When we have a thought filled with pain then our emotions will reflect the same. They feed off each other so that it becomes an endless cycle of suffering.

To change this behavior we need to become an observer of the mind instead of being pulled into a thought stream that ends in pain or suffering.

By learning to step back from the mind and observe it with an attitude of non-judgment it creates separation from it.

When this happens, then we no longer get identified with stories from the past no matter how painful they were – then we are free.

The way to achieve this is to meditate and specifically mindful meditation as this is how we create non-judgmental awareness of the mind and feelings.

Mindful meditation is as simple as watching your breath flow in and out of your body for a few minutes. This is how we start to come back to the present in which all healing takes place.

We all have huge demands on our time, energy and focus. Without exception. But the biggest demand for our attention are the conflicting voices in our head. This is the reason why many people find it challenging to make a decision, stop procrastinating about things, or make changes in their life.

The most important conversation you have every day – is with yourself. It makes sense then that the less talk you have to listen to inside your head, the more productive and effective your life will be.

Look at it this way, it’s almost like we have a crowd inside our head that are vying for our attention. This crowd includes your doubts, fears, judgments, past memories, limiting beliefs, conditioned beliefs, and a host of additional ideas about what’s okay or not okay for you to be, do or have.

We really have two voices though that matter. There’s the inner critic, which fills your head with limiting and negative self-talk and there’s your inner self, which I call your sacred-self, which speaks to you with logic and reason.

The Voice of Judgment

The inner critic’s job is to second guess everything you want to be, do or have. This is the part of you that doesn’t believe that you deserve to be happy or fulfilled and that life is nothing more than struggle and pain. It also is the part of you that sabotage’s your happiness and success in life.

The inner critic evolves from self-limiting beliefs that are conditioned in your thoughts and behaviors as you grow up. These are beliefs about what you can’t do and what is not possible to achieve in your life. They are the ones that shatter your dreams and whisper in your ear that you’ll never amount to anything anyway.

As long as you continue to let the voice of doubt, limitation, or negativity rule your life you will always feel like either a fraud or a failure. No matter how successful you get, or how much others praise you, if your inner critic is in control, then it will fall on deaf ears.

Every time you doubt yourself – it’s not you doing the doubting. It’s a voice from the past who caused you to doubt yourself and it was easier to believe it than stand up for yourself at the time. That voice is a fraud.

These are the same voices in your head that say things to you like:

• ‘I’m not thin enough’
• ‘I’m not smart enough’
• ‘I’m not good looking enough’
• ‘I’m hopeless with money’
• ‘It’ll never work for me’
• ‘It’s too good to be true’
• ‘I’ll never be any good at this’
• ‘I suck at being a human being’
• ‘I never do anything right’
• ‘Why bother trying when I know I’m going to fail’

This negative self-talk is linked to voices that belong to your past that criticized or judged you and you believed in them. What this does is to crush your dreams, devours your confidence, and keeps you stuck in a cycle of fear and insecurity.

We can learn to turn the dial dial on our inner critic so that the sound of the crowd of naysayers gets lower and lower until finally they have no voice at all.  It won’t happen overnight but it will happen, you just need to learn how to turn the dial up on your sacred voice.

Let’s have a look at how you can start to take back your power from your inner critic.

The Voice of Power

Your sacred voice is always talking to you and all you need to do is listen. It is the voice that always knows what you want. It is the voice that always knows what to do. It is also the voice that is connected to your deepest dreams and purpose in life.

In short – it is your voice. Any other talk you hear is nonsense that has been borrowed from people or the world around you, and it’s time to put it back where it belongs – in the trash.

Next time you hear it – tell it to shut-up. That’s all you need to do.

Sure, it may keep trying to sabotage you from taking back your power by getting a bit louder at first but as long as you are not willing to buy what it’s trying to sell you, then it knows it’s playing a losing game.

It may sound like such a simple thing to do to break free from a lifetime of negative self-talk and yet it’s the simplicity of it that is the power and beauty of this technique. However, just like anything of value in life, you need to be consistent with it to get the best results. Just doing it once, won’t cut it.

The second part to making this work even faster is that once you have told your inner critic to ‘shut-up’, then you need to immediately do something to show your inner critic that you are now in control. The easiest way to do this is to do the opposite of what your negative self-talk would allow.

For example, if you want to lose weight and your inner critic is sabotaging you eating well and exercising regularly, then force yourself to make one change to your diet or exercise routine starting today. Then keep doing it daily for 30 days so that you lock it in as a new habit.

It doesn’t matter how big or small the change is – just do something. This teaches your inner critic that you are in charge. This is by far the fastest way to start to take away the power from your voice of doubt and fear. Then, at the same time you can start to turn up the dial and start taking more notice of what your sacred voice is saying.

Here’s Why You Want to Listen to Your Sacred Voice:

1. It never lies to you. Your inner voice is always connected to your deepest truth and what is aligned to for your highest good. It may not always be what feels comfortable for you to do but staying comfortable means to never change. To never change means your life will stay the same.

2. The more you listen to it and do what it says, the stronger you will get. Your power as a person is only limited to how much you believe in yourself. Things like doubt and self-sabotage hold you back from your greatness. True power comes from knowing who you are and what you really want out of life – and then making it happen.

3. It will give you more confidence. Your self-confidence grows as you listen to and trust yourself more. The only time we doubt ourselves is when we allow the voices or reason of others to make us second guess ourselves.

4. You will live a life of unstoppable passion. Passion comes from living what you love and being truly happy to be alive each day. When you let your inner voice lead the way in your life then you are opening the doorway to your inner-most passions and desires to be lived.

5. Your life will be on purpose. Living an authentic life is simply one that you live according to your own rules. It’s following your heart without hesitation and using your mind to make the right choices for what’s in alignment with your god-given talents and abilities.

6. It will make you a leader. Every one of us is unique to the world. None of us are exactly the same – this is the beauty of our lives. For us to fully live our uniqueness we need to be ready to stand out from the crowd and dare to be different from the rest of the sheep that settle for a second-hand life.

We get one chance at living an Authentic life in this lifetime and if we miss it, then we are really missing out on giving ourselves the best chance to let our light shine brightly into the world. Too many people have given up on their dreams already and live their lives in misery – we can show them another way if we just stay true to ourselves.

7. It will put an end to any suffering. The main struggle that most people have is the struggle they have within their own minds. Should they do this or that? What if this or that happens? Why isn’t their life the way they want it to be? Why do bad things keep happening to them?

These questions and the multitude of other distracting and conflicting thoughts that people have take up valuable real-estate in the mind. A busy mind that is not focused or even worse gets stuck focusing on negative things will eventually ruin any chance you have at having the best quality of life.

We all need a break from our own heads from time to time and without it, life tends to feel overwhelming, which leads to all sorts of mental, physical or emotional problems we then have to deal with. When you have only one voice to listen to then you can give yourself a break from your head anytime you like.

In other words, it’s your beliefs about what is good or bad, right or wrong, okay or not okay,or even what you should or shouldn’t have, be or do, that become your rules by which you live your life.

Now, this is all well and good while your rules help you to live a happy, healthy, wealthy and productive life. But the moment that they get in the way of you living your dreams, or taking risks to help you grow as a person and live your full potential, then they need to be broken.

When I first came across this knowledge I have to admit I got super excited. It had never dawned on me that I had been living by self-imposed rules which may have been holding me back in life but as I thought more about it I started to see some patterns in my behavior that suggested otherwise.

Look at it this way, your personal rules about life are like the ultimate judge and jury that govern how you think, feel and behave at any given moment. For example, if I were to ask you, “Do you love yourself?”, how would you respond to it? Your response would be based upon your rules of what’s required for you to be happy with who you are.

Now, this is just one example of hundreds, if not thousands of rules that we carry around with us that control how we feel and how we respond every moment you are alive.

Breaking The Rules

Think about the different areas of your life that your rules impact and what that might mean to you. From the way you view yourself and what is possible for you to be, do or have in the world, through to how you give and receive love, how rich or poor you are, how fit or unfit you are, how happy or miserable you are, how productive or complacent you are, how relaxed or stress you are, how much confidence or fear you have.

These areas, and many more like them are determined by the rules you live by inside your head and your emotions. The question that needs to be asked is, “Are your rules giving you a life of more of what you really want, or are they holding you back?”

For example, do you have rules about what you should or shouldn’t say to people for fear of retaliation or not being accepted? If you do, then this rule will be controlling your relationships in a negative way. It will enable others to think that they can easily manipulate you to their way of thinking or acting.

This is a recipe for disaster because what that means for you is that you will end up resenting anyone who tries to control you and not really know why. This can not only cause you to shut down in relationships but also cause your relationships to feel stifling and ultimately like your caged in a prison.

The key with any rule is to firstly identify those rules that are causing you to stay limited, or stuck in frustration or pain.on some level. Once, you have identified it, then it is time to decide what rule you want to put in it’s place.

Like anything in life that’s not working for you, as soon as you become aware of what it is you can change it. In the case of the example where the rule is that you have a limit around what you say to people for fear of being judged, then you need to break that rule and make a new one.

How To Make New Rules

Making new rules is a two step process. The first step is to think about what you want your new rule to be. The new rule must be something that is achievable and that makes it easy for you to feel good about yourself.

An example of a new rule for expressing yourself assertively in relationships would be, “I choose to feel confident and powerful when I express myself openly and honestly to others.” Or, “I experience courage anytime I express vulnerability, or allow myself to do and say what is true for me.”

Are these new rules achievable? You bet! Who’s in control? You are! At any moment in time, you can decide to be more confident or courageous when expressing yourself, and you now have permission to give yourself the feeling of power and courage.

The second step is to reinforce the new rule by practicing it with those that  you feel safe to rehearse it with. This may be with a close friend, or a family member, or anyone at all that is happy to help you strengthen your new rule. At first it will be like you are role-playing, but eventually what you’ll find is that the more you ‘rehearse’ it, the more ingrained it will become in your mind and emotions.

If you don’t feel confident enough to work with someone else on it, then work on it yourself. The best way to do that is to rehearse it in your mind for five minutes before you get out of bed in the morning and for five minutes just before you fall asleep at night. If you can allow yourself to feel the powerful positive emotions that come with your new rule as you rehearse it in your head.

The great thing about setting up new rules in your life is that they will always bring you closer to what you value most. If they don’t, then you haven’t set them up properly. It’s very much like giving yourself permission to shine brighter in your life and break free from those rules that were crushing your spirit.

Are all rules made to be broken? Not necessarily. There are some rules that are set that belong to your personal standards and by breaking them you don’t feel good about yourself. These should be left alone.

Some people simply have too many rules that they live by. I’ve found that the less rules you have about how things “should” be or “must” be, the less frustration and pain you will have in your life.

Making Fun of Rules

Make sure to take the time to have fun when breaking old rules and making new ones. It’s the fastest way I know to build a new life and become the person you always wanted to be.

To help accelerate any new rules you may want to have, make a list of the top ten rules you can think of that are holding you back from a happy, healthy, relaxed, prosperous and productive life. It doesn’t matter if you can’t come up with ten, even one will do, but see how many you can find.

To help with this process, look at the main rules that govern things like love in your life, happiness, having fun, handling stress and what needs to happen for you to feel confident about who you are no matter what’s going on.

Then, against each of those rules, write out your new ones. Your new rules need to give you more control of your life so that YOU determine how you feel in response to what happens around you. Set it up so that it’s really easy for you to feel good about yourself.

Then pick one of the new rules you’ve written down that you’d like to start with and start living it. Don’t forget to practice it with your “breaking free” buddy until you feel a little more confident with it.

If it’s something that can’t be easily practiced with someone you know, then just start applying it immediately in your life. Focus on the positive feelings that you will get from it and how much more empowered your life will be. You have nothing to lose except old rules that don’t serve you, and everything to gain. Otherwise, work on it internally each morning and night.

Always keep in mind that that you are in charge of your rules. All you need to do is acknowledge the old rule and then create whatever new rule you want to have replace it. Breaking free from rules can be as easy as doing something different than you’ve ever done before just to see what happens.

You might have a rule that you only eat chocolate ice-cream. So, next time you get an ice-cream, try a flavor you’ve never had before. At the very least you’ll have a new experience and at the most you’ll discover another ice-cream you love.

Play with your rules, have fun creating new ones and without a doubt the most empowering rule you can have is to love your life regardless of what happens.

Unfortunately, some people allow the emotional roller coaster rider of life to get on top of them to the point where they end up becoming victims of their circumstances. This often leads to mental, physical or emotional breakdown which requires ongoing coping mechanisms just to get by.

You Always Have A Choice.

This is no way to live, yet it happens all too much. The great news is that this breakdown can be 100% avoided. It is a choice that you can make to not let anything be more important than your inner peace and happiness.

Yes, challenges will always happen. People will continue to say and do stupid things that upset or annoy you but what you need to understand is that whatever you think or feel about anyone or anything that happens will eventually pass.

Even the worst arguments or experiences that happen are simply triggers for mental and emotional reactions. Over time, you can learn to catch the reactions to your external triggers and then make different choices about how you respond to them.

Once you can do this, then you immediately start to take back control of your triggers until one day they no longer have any power over you to control how you think, feel or act. When that happens, you become free for the first time in your life.

Whatever You Feel Is Okay.

Very few people may have ever said this too you but do you know that whatever you feel is okay?

When I first discovered this for myself it literally transformed my life for the better instantly. I went from being anxious and fearful of the future, to finding a deep inner calmness and joy.

So how did I do this?

The first thing I had to learn was to accept whatever I was thinking or feeling and not try and change or get rid of it. For example, if I woke up in the morning and felt lethargic and unmotivated about work or life in general – I wouldn’t try to change it.

The old me would have tried everything I could to change it because I judged that it was a bad thing to have and that I was just being lazy which of course made me feel guilty. So I’d try to ‘fake’ being happy, or motivated, all the while knowing deep down it was a lie.

By giving myself permission to let whatever I am experiencing be okay no matter how dark or unpleasant it was taught me a very valuable lesson. I found that eventually it would pass on it’s own accord without me needing to do anything about it.

No medication was needed, no therapy, no drugs, no sympathy, nor even any or support was necessary – it simply came and went in it’s own timing. All I had to do was get out of the way and let it run it’s natural course.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you let this continue for weeks or months if it is something that is negatively impacting your life. There comes a point where acceptance of ‘what is’ can turn into self-sabotage and you need to be aware enough to know the difference.

As you get better at accepting the thoughts and feelings you are having they will come and go at a faster rate. In other words, if you are feeling angry about something and don’t try to do anything to change or get rid of it and let it be okay to just move undisturbed through your body, then it can literally pass on by in just minutes.

The only reason your negative thoughts and emotions hang around is because you get attached to them. Then, like a broken record you keep replaying them over and over again in your head and that is when they get ‘stuck’ and become an issue that needs to be resolved.

Thoughts Are Like Clouds In The Sky.

Just like clouds float through the sky undisturbed, so too can your thoughts and feelings flow through your mind and body. You are not meant to get attached to them, unless they are part of focusing on your goals and dreams that you want to achieve.

Anything else that is destructive in nature just needs to be left alone until it floats on by. It doesn’t need your help because your body naturally knows what to do to let it go.

So the next time you feel sad – be sad and don’t try to change it. Then next time your are annoyed – be annoyed and don’t try to change it. If you are tired then allow yourself to be tired, it too shall pass. If you are buzzing with energy then allow yourself to be buzzing with energy and don’t try to change it. If you feel like giving up because you feel overwhelmed, then let yourself embrace the energy of ‘giving up’ and sit with it for as long as you can.

I try not to sit with anything longer than 24 hours as I have learned that our energy moves quite quickly and it doesn’t require days or weeks to move through things. After 24 hours of ‘sitting’ with your energy and it hasn’t passed, then look at getting some kind of support or doing something different to help with it unless you are okay to let it be there for awhile longer.

There are no real hard and fast rules for how long you should sit with any energy. This will vary from person to person and the level of awareness you have of your mind and body. But the point is not to become a masochist, it is to become a master at letting things go that don’t serve your highest good.

The last thing you can add to this process is to mentally remind yourself that ‘this too shall pass’, whatever ‘this’ may be. Everything in our physical world is subject to constant change. Nothing is permanent in your life… every minute life is changing around you, you are getting older by the second and even the air you breathe is changing.

By knowing and accepting that this is the true nature of life, then reminding yourself that ‘this too shall pass’ whenever you are having a shit moment and not trying to change it or avoid it, will soon become a living reality for you.

They are:

1. Lack of self worth

2. Fear

Letting Go Of Lack of Self Worth

This can be quite challenging to handle because it deals with your subconscious beliefs and habits around success, money, relationships, happiness and just about anything you can think of. To increase your self worth you simply need to love and approve of yourself more.

This means that you take the time each day to focus on what’s ‘right’ about you and what you like about yourself. If you can’t do these 2 simple things, then I recommend getting some professional help as it is that important in order for you to be a  balanced human being who feels good about themselves.

It’s so hard to live the life of your dreams, or get that promotion, or win over that man or woman, or achieve financial freedom if on the inside, you are a pauper in everything you think and do. You need to claim back your personal power and to do that it requires courage and commitment.

The courage is what you’ll need to get through any emotional roller coaster rides that happens as you shift from self doubt to self love. The commitment is the agreement you make with yourself that is water tight and cannot be broken – no matter what.

You can literally increase your self worth in minutes. It just takes letting go of the past and embracing the unknown future with joy. Once you make the decision to let your true light shine through into the world, then nothing can stop it from happening unless you choose to stay stuck in the shadows.

Being free to be who you are requires self love and that happens as you open your heart and mind to the joy of life and make that the most important focus in your life. Give compassion and peace wherever you go and you will find that happiness and joy will automatically awaken within you.

Overcoming Fear

I call fear, “False Evidence Appearing Real”.

Fear is generated in the mind and it prevents you from attaining your goals by blocking the flow of creativity, inspiration and focus. Make no mistake, you will come across obstacles as you challenge your fear based beliefs and myths of life. But what matters is how you deal with these fears that separates winners from losers.

If you really want to be successful in anything you focus on, then it is time to forget about what you can’t do and focus on what you CAN achieve. every problem has a solution if you are willing to keep looking long after the average person who is controlled by fear give up and puts it in the too hard basket.

Whenever you find yourself facing your fears you can transform it instantly by saying or yelling the power phrase “SWITCH!”

“Switch” is designed to dispell fear because it sends a powerful message to you mind to move in a new direction. It’s just like when you switch on alight and it turns on or off, or you switch the TV station, you can train your mind to switch from fear to fun instantly just by saying the word “switch” and then doing something fun for a moment.

Whenever the fear panic of “what am I doing?” overwhelms you as you broaden your horizons, expand comfort zones, embrace new responsibilities, achieve new growth, shout loudly to the fear in your mind using the word, “SWITCH”.

The game of SWITCH is a mind-skill that gives you a new power habit… a power habit to instantly reshape your thoughts and break free from the mental bondage that keeps so many people stuck in settling for second best. This new mind power will help you to raise your consciousness and join the winners circle of life where you belong!

We all create expectations for ourselves. It is a basic human trait to project our desires and thoughts onto those we are closest to. We tend to expect significant people in our lives to behave in a manner envisioned in our mind. Expectations in relationships can be harmful when unspoken ideals are projected onto the other person.

Unspoken assumptions and unrealistic expectations commonly sabotage relationships. How many times have your feelings been hurt because you mistakenly assumed someone else knew what you thought or expected? Do you ever become annoyed or angry with someone who acted differently than you expected?

Have you found yourself saying:
“If you really loved me, you would…”
“Why didn‟t you…”
“You should…”

It doesn‟t matter what kind of relationship you are in. Each person‟s expectations plays a large part in determining the health of the relationship. Perceptions of a relationship change when there is a contrast between the ideal and the real. The partnership strengthens when one begins to see the relationship for what it really is.

Having unrealistic or unfulfilled expectations is a sure way to ruin a relationship. When an individual has a strong desire that their partner meet their impossible expectations they become blinded to who their partner really is. Even if the partner tries to meet the expectations, it will never be exactly what their partner wants.

This is because expectations in relationships are most often unattainable. We all have a preconceived notion of what we want in our ideal mate, and this is how expectations are conceived. When someone harbors unclear or unspoken expectations, then they are likely going to surface at some point.

Types of Expectations on Relationships

There are different types of relationships a person experiences in their life: parent/child, friendship, romantic, and business. Situations discussed in this chapter most directly involve persons in a romantic union, yet all these strategies apply to any type of relationship.

Different types of expectations can negatively affect our relationships. Expectations can be unrealistic, unclear, unfulfilled, unspoken, unexpressed, and misguided.

These unrealistic expectations can come from:

• Our family values and traditions
• Past relationships
• Past experiences
• Expecting the other person to provide our personal happiness or fulfillment
• Projecting onto someone else how we want them to be.

Most importantly, problems in any relationship come from lack of communication and miscommunication.

Letting Go Of Unrealistic Expectations 

True happiness in relationships and in yourself happens when you let go of having unrealistic expectations of yourself or others.  Drop fulfilling other’s expectations, and drop expecting others to fulfil yours.  Nobody suffers because of others – remember that deeply.

Be true to your nature, be sincere in your inner nature and help others to be sincere in their inner nature. You are here top fulfill your destiny, and others are here to fulfill theirs.  Don’t expect anything from them or you will turn them into someone other than who they are.

Learning to accept yourself and others for who they are is the greatest gift of love that you can give. Nothing else even comes close. The moment that you drop the need to expects others to change or be who you want them to be, then you will have a real relationship based on trust and respect.

On the other side of the coin, with every new step you take, if you say ‘yes’ to the expectations of others you will fall back into a life of quiet desperation and misery. It just adds pressure for you to be someone your not and so in essence you are giving away your power to be happy to keep the peace with those around you.

It’s not worth selling your Soul to anyone because at the end of the day they will not thank you for it, or even be the tiniest bit grateful. Instead, the moment you stand up for yourself and decide to not meet their expectations of you, they will turn on your and blame you for their anger, frustration or disappointment.

The answer is to trust in your true nature deeply and live by the beat of your own drum. Let others live by the beat of their drums also and if they don’t happen to match or sound good together, then keep marching anyway as life’s too short to be anything other than happy and deeply fulfilled.

The Cycle Of Success

Now I have to admit that this is not my success formula. In fact, it doesn’t belong to anyone, but as you will see in a moment the four distinct steps to success never change. This is why it’s so easy to predict if you will succeed at anything. You just need to identify what step you are weakest in and then fix it – then success is inevitable.

Step 1 – Become a Powerful Decision Maker

This is as easy as it sounds. You either know what you want or you don’t. Successful people are good decision makers and they are able to make fast decisions when required. They do not procrastinate or avoid making tough decisions when the necessity arises.

Another way to look at decision making is to call it goal setting. Really, whenever you make a decision about something you are setting a goal. Whether it’s to quit your job, lose weight, get fit or find the love of your life – decisions and goals are one and the same.

By getting good at setting goals (making decisions) you will develop the mental muscle of goal setting as a habit. Once that is done, then you will have it as a skill for life. If you fail to master this vital step in the cycle of success, then success will forever elude you.

Step 2 – Become a Powerful action Taker

Once you become a master decision maker, then the next skill to conquer is to become a master action taker. Some people are great decision makers but then they procrastinate about taking action so nothing ever changes or gets done.

People that are super successful in life ALWAYS follow through with their decisions / goals – it’s that simple. If you find that you set a goal and then take no action towards making it happen, then get rid of it and move onto something else because you’re kidding yourself that it’s important to you.

Step yourself up for success by only setting goals that are important to you and that you have an unwavering commitment to see through to the end.  To help with this simply add a deadline to all your decisions as that makes it all the more realistic and doable.

Step 3 – Become Results Orientated

As you can already see that if you are not good at either step one or two then you’ll never even make it to step 3. That’s why success is so predictable. You either have these qualities or you don’t. The awesome news is that you CAN develop these skills over time and the best way to do that is to set goals and take action towards achieving them.

With this step what you are looking to do is look at the results you achieve from doing step one and two. Let’s say your goal is to lose 20kg in weight in 3 months and at the end of the 3 months you have only lost 10kg, then this is where you review your results.

If you have achieved your goal, then obviously you have succeeded and there’s nothing more to do towards it. If you haven’t achieved your desired outcome, as in this case, then you will need to look at the actions you are taking and see if there is anything else you could be doing to make it happen faster.

This may mean asking for help or getting professional advice. Nonetheless, it means reviewing what you have achieved and then coming up with a new action plan to move forward with. In reality you are going back to step 1 and step 2 again as you are making new decisions around taking new actions.

Step 4 – Acknowledge What You Have Acheived

This is the most undervalued step in the cycle of success. Even the smallest of wins towards your goals is still a win. No matter how small your personal or professional victory is – it’s still a victory, so give yourself a pat on the back, treat yourself to something special or feel good about it.

The worst thing you can do is focus on what you ‘didn’t’ achieve and beat yourself up for it. Psychologically that will build barriers to success because a part of you will want to avoid the pain that comes from self criticism, so it’s just easier to not go there.

By celebrating your wins, you are sending a powerful message to your subconscious mind that you are a winner. There is a saying that, “Nothing breeds success like success”, and never a truer statement has been made.

Mastering The Cycle Of Success

There are some people who will be stronger in 1 or more areas of the cycle of success than others. Your challenge is to pick the step that you are currently the weakest in and turn it into a strength. If you start working on it today, then the sooner you will be living the life you always knew you could have.

Remember, you can’t fail. There’s no such thing as failure, only failure to take action. Take action today and I’ll see you on the other side of success tomorrow!

That’s why it’s so important that we learn how our mind works, and more importantly, how we can take back control of it when we need it the most. It’s also helpful to know how to reprogram it so that it works for you – all the time. .

If You Don’t Mind – It Don’t Matter.

Do you realize that everything you think and know about life and the world around you is a projection of your beliefs… and beliefs are nothing more than patterns of thinking held in place by emotion.

For  example, if you had been brought up to believe that the world was flat (which was the case not so long ago), then you would project this belief onto the world. Now, the world doesn’t care what you think about it as it’s perfectly happy the way it is.

The fact is that we have opinions (which come from our beliefs) about almost everything we ‘think’ we know about life, ourselves and the world around us. These opinions may or may not be true but that’s not what’s relevant.

What’s relevant is that by becoming aware that your mind is constantly painting a picture of how your world looks and feels to you based on stimulation it gets through your senses, you can start to change the picture and therefor instantly change the thoughts and feelings you have.

How exactly do you do that? By not having an opinion about whatever is going on. In other words, opinions contain judgments, and judgments comes from your beliefs. By dropping any judgment about whatever your thoughts and feelings you are having at any given moment, then you will instantly find a place of peace within you.

The bottom line is that if you stop having judgmental thoughts and attitudes towards yourself, your experiences. or your circumstances, then any doubts, fears, anxiety or frustration you may have been experiencing will instantly dissolve.

It’s like the saying goes, “Whatever you focus on, you get more of. If you focus on what you don’t have, you’ll get less. If you focus on what you do have, you’ll get more.”

Are You A Prisoner Of Your Mind?

We don’t have to be locked up in jail to be a prisoner in this life. If you are trapped by limited or negative thinking in your head and you have no space for peace or happiness, then you are a prisoner of your own making.

Even behaviors such as obsessing over things that shouldn’t really matter, or dwelling on things that rob you of time and energy and cause you to feel annoyed, miserable, or unhappy in some way –  is to live as a prisoner of your mind. Plus, this is not healthy behavior.

And yet, this is the reason why so many therapists, doctors, and pharmaceutical companies stay thriving in business. You can stop this cycle of madness anytime you like. All you need to do is recognize that this is what you are doing and then start to take back control of your mind.

How To Take Back Control Of your Mind.

There are two things you need to do to make this happen.

The first is learn to meditate. Meditation is the single most powerful tool that you can use basically anytime and anywhere to help you to start to quite your mind and find a place of calmness within anytime you like.

The second thing to do is to start learning about your mind and how to reprogram it for happiness and peace. For example, watching a lot of television that is filled with violence or doom and gloom like the local news will strengthen a negative mindset.

To turn that around start reading self help books, sell your TV, or at least only watch shows that help you to enlighten your mind to a calmer place, and refrain from talking or relating to people whose lives are filled with drama. Work on clearing out your mind and being able to turn it off at will.

The last thing you can do is to drop all judgmental thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. These things feed your negative mind. Instead, work on being more compassionate and accepting of life in all it’s guises.

If you do not currently have as much health, wealth, happiness, peace or joy in your life, then this means that you are a prisoner to limiting beliefs patterns in your mind. This in itself is also a prison because it can keep you stuck in ‘survival’ mode which all too often feels like a life of struggle and hardship.

You can break free to a mind unlimited anytime you like. It just takes one simple decision – the decision to make your mind your best friend. Let’s face it, you spend 24/7 with your mind. There’s no-one out there that will ever have so much of your time.

It makes sense then that you might as well learn how to tap into your  mind power for your own greater good. Your mind is an amazing tool. It can take you to new heights of love, happiness and power, and all it needs is for you to do the work to make it happen.