Until you have released the need for judgment, you will always have it reflected back to you in your relationships. This is one of the main causes of stress.
All too often we assume that we know what others mean by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear understanding of what’s really going on. This inevitably leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.
The Secret To STRESS FREE Relationships.
The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master the skill of being agreeable! If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of common sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with what you though, said or did?
Did you thank them, give them a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not!
The bottom line is that people don’t like being disagreed with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict. You have a choice every time you relate with another person. You can either be agreeable in nature and in communication or you can be disagreeable.
The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration. It costs nothing to agree with someone else’s point of view even if you think it’s ridiculous. Who are we to judge how another person views their life and the world around them.
Conflict always arises from disagreement’s which then leads to power struggles. This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome is tension and resentment.
So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is saying?
Ask if it’s OK to share your opinion. If the answer is no, then to keep your relationships stress free keep your mouth zipped tight. Changes topics if you need to or go do something fun together but let it go and move on.
The skill of understanding.
The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you remember a time recently when you were talking with someone and they either interrupted you before you finished talking and started talking about themselves or completely ignored
what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?
I know that’s happened to me thousands of times. Well guess what, if you didn’t like it I can guarantee you that others won’t like it if you do it to them. By listening attentively to what others say and not interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing stress and tension in your relationships because the people you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.
This builds trust and respect, which are two of the most important ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.
Here are 4 keys to master the skill of understanding
1. Don’t interrupt unless you have something urgent to attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to meet with them that you can give your undivided attention.
2. Look them in the eye and keep your body language open
3. Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This lets the person who is talking know that you are really listening to them.
4. Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for clarity before sharing you’re opinion. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is being said.
The only time to try and get others to understand you is after you have understood them. Then they are more receptive to what you have to say. This skill is one of the most important in building good bonds between people that are stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting others know that they matter.
Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no accident. They are skillfully developed over time by people who care about people. These secrets will only work if you apply them. The more you apply them, the less stress you’ll have in relationships.