Did you know that one of the fastest ways to transform your life for the better is to simply change the words you speak? Every word we speak carries an energetic intention that flows from us to those that we speak to, which in turn impacts the level of power and influence we have in relationships.
For years now I have been studying the impact that our language and words have on the type of results that show up in our lives. Words have the power to either uplift your energy and your life, or deflate it and have your world and relationships come crashing down around you.
What is a Power Word?
All words are powerful in their own way, it really depends on who is listening. For example, if you tell someone that you love them in English, yet they only speak Mandarin, then it won’t have any meaning or power at all. That’s why I’ve come to understand that firstly we must be speaking the same language before any words can have power.
In a sense, words have no power at all. It’s more that they are given meaning by the person who is listening to them. I’ll talk a little more about this later as we can radically reduce the power words have over us to make us feel good or bad just by changing one simple thing about the way we listen.
For now though, a power word is a word that instantly empowers you the moment you speak it. Sure, you can also group words together to make powerful statements, but what I’m talking about here is the power to use two simple words to let yourself and others know exactly where you stand.
Those words are, ‘Yes’, and ‘No’.
How And When To Use Power Words
This is the simplest part of all. Say ‘Yes’ when you mean yes, and say ‘No’ when you mean no. If you stick to this rule then you’ll live a happy, healthy, and empowered life. But if you don’t, then you’ll end up feeling frustrated and resentful that you are not being honest with yourself and others.
The most obvious reason that we would say yes when we mean no would be so that we don’t disappoint someone we love or care about, or if it’s in a work environment where we don’t feel safe to say no. The reality is that the only reason any of us say yes when we mean no is because at some level we are afraid of being honest.
Once we recognize that our fear is in control of our life, rather than our courage, then we can choose to take steps to change it. At first you may need to think about a few different ways to learn to say no without it coming across to harsh or blunt. Once you get comfortable with saying no, then of course, that won’t be an issue.
7 Ways To Practice Saying ‘No’ Gently
1. Right now it’s a no from me, but perhaps we can look at it some other time?
2. It’s not really something that I’m interested in but thank you for thinking of me.
3. Hmmm… that’s not going to work for me.
4. It’s actually quite hard for me to say no to people, but I’m practicing being more courageous, so I’m going to say no right now.
5. Yes, I might be interested in something like that at some other point in time, but it’s a no for right now.
6. I’m not available for something like that right now but how would Saturday at 3pm work for you?
7. I’d prefer not to at the moment but perhaps we can look at it again some other time.
The Power of Saying ‘Yes’ to Yourself
When you say no to someone else you are always saying yes to yourself – and that is a very powerful thing to do. Yes, is without a doubt one of the most powerful words in the English language as it has the power to open doors and create a connection like no other word can.
Conversely, when we say no, it typically creates a disconnection between others as how they react to it will depend on their level of self-esteem. People with low self-esteem, or those who have a superiority complex will see it as a rejection or a personal dig at them. Either way, you can’t be responsible for their insecurities so do your best to love them anyway.
The fastest way to allow the power of the word yes to uplift your life is to get really good at saying yes to yourself – all the time. When you get good at that, then you’ll find it easier to say yes to others when you mean it, and then to say no when you mean it.
Every time you say yes to someone when you mean no, you undermine your own self-esteem. This ultimately leads to resenting what you are doing for others, which will affect how you think and feel about both them and yourself.
How To Take Instantly Reduce The Power From Any Word
Now that we know that words have power and that people give these words power through language and the meaning they apply to words spoken to them, let’s look at how to diffuse the power from words anytime we want.
The first step is to consider that words do not carry any power unless you give it to them. When we hear a word, our brain takes the sounds that we hear, analyzes them and then gives it a meaning based on our education and past experiences of the sounds.
We can however choose to change this habit. Instead, we can listen to the words being spoken and instead of judging them based on the past, allow the sounds to pass through our brain without judging them. It’s a little like watching clouds float by in a clear blue sky. We know they are clouds but by not getting attached to them, they just drift on by uninterrupted.
By not associating a meaning to sounds or words, then we can watch them on the screen of our mind in a state of relaxed awareness, or non-judgment as I like to call it. When we can do that, then we can never again be caused pain by what someone may say to us where the intent was to get a reaction out of us.
Yes, this takes time to develop the skill of stepping back from what is being said to us and learning to be non-judgmental around words and sounds. However, the payoff is massive! Imagine being able to stay calm no matter what is being said to you. What would that do for your mental and physical health? Not to mention the health and happiness of your relationships.
When you are no longer emotionally manipulated by the words that others speak to you in either a positive or negative way, then the power to control your happiness and well-being will be in your hands.
All we need to do is listen without reacting and acknowledge that it’s not what is said to us that matters, it’s how we respond that makes all the difference. Those that learn to stay cool and calm no matter what words are being spoken are the ones that win in the game of life. Everyone else, remains a victim to unconscious mental and emotional habits.
To step out of the cycle of reactive behavior and into the world of empowered communication all that is required is a bit of mindfulness towards words and sounds. You can practice anywhere and anytime by closing your eyes and just listening to the sounds around you without judgment.
As time goes by make it harder for yourself by listening to sounds that would normally annoy you and keep increasing it as you get more allowing of sounds and noise. Then shift across to doing the same with people until you can listen to anything without judgement.
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Michael Atma Blog
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