Let’s face it, all of us go through ups and downs in our lives, and some experience more of them than others. These ups and downs are not intended to destroy our lives, they are intended to help us to strengthen our character and become more adept at handling life’s challenges.
Unfortunately, some people allow the emotional roller coaster rider of life to get on top of them to the point where they end up becoming victims of their circumstances. This often leads to mental, physical or emotional breakdown which requires ongoing coping mechanisms just to get by.
You Always Have A Choice.
This is no way to live, yet it happens all too much. The great news is that this breakdown can be 100% avoided. It is a choice that you can make to not let anything be more important than your inner peace and happiness.
Yes, challenges will always happen. People will continue to say and do stupid things that upset or annoy you but what you need to understand is that whatever you think or feel about anyone or anything that happens will eventually pass.
Even the worst arguments or experiences that happen are simply triggers for mental and emotional reactions. Over time, you can learn to catch the reactions to your external triggers and then make different choices about how you respond to them.
Once you can do this, then you immediately start to take back control of your triggers until one day they no longer have any power over you to control how you think, feel or act. When that happens, you become free for the first time in your life.
Whatever You Feel Is Okay.
Very few people may have ever said this too you but do you know that whatever you feel is okay?
When I first discovered this for myself it literally transformed my life for the better instantly. I went from being anxious and fearful of the future, to finding a deep inner calmness and joy.
So how did I do this?
The first thing I had to learn was to accept whatever I was thinking or feeling and not try and change or get rid of it. For example, if I woke up in the morning and felt lethargic and unmotivated about work or life in general – I wouldn’t try to change it.
The old me would have tried everything I could to change it because I judged that it was a bad thing to have and that I was just being lazy which of course made me feel guilty. So I’d try to ‘fake’ being happy, or motivated, all the while knowing deep down it was a lie.
By giving myself permission to let whatever I am experiencing be okay no matter how dark or unpleasant it was taught me a very valuable lesson. I found that eventually it would pass on it’s own accord without me needing to do anything about it.
No medication was needed, no therapy, no drugs, no sympathy, nor even any or support was necessary – it simply came and went in it’s own timing. All I had to do was get out of the way and let it run it’s natural course.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you let this continue for weeks or months if it is something that is negatively impacting your life. There comes a point where acceptance of ‘what is’ can turn into self-sabotage and you need to be aware enough to know the difference.
As you get better at accepting the thoughts and feelings you are having they will come and go at a faster rate. In other words, if you are feeling angry about something and don’t try to do anything to change or get rid of it and let it be okay to just move undisturbed through your body, then it can literally pass on by in just minutes.
The only reason your negative thoughts and emotions hang around is because you get attached to them. Then, like a broken record you keep replaying them over and over again in your head and that is when they get ‘stuck’ and become an issue that needs to be resolved.
Thoughts Are Like Clouds In The Sky.
Just like clouds float through the sky undisturbed, so too can your thoughts and feelings flow through your mind and body. You are not meant to get attached to them, unless they are part of focusing on your goals and dreams that you want to achieve.
Anything else that is destructive in nature just needs to be left alone until it floats on by. It doesn’t need your help because your body naturally knows what to do to let it go.
So the next time you feel sad – be sad and don’t try to change it. Then next time your are annoyed – be annoyed and don’t try to change it. If you are tired then allow yourself to be tired, it too shall pass. If you are buzzing with energy then allow yourself to be buzzing with energy and don’t try to change it. If you feel like giving up because you feel overwhelmed, then let yourself embrace the energy of ‘giving up’ and sit with it for as long as you can.
I try not to sit with anything longer than 24 hours as I have learned that our energy moves quite quickly and it doesn’t require days or weeks to move through things. After 24 hours of ‘sitting’ with your energy and it hasn’t passed, then look at getting some kind of support or doing something different to help with it unless you are okay to let it be there for awhile longer.
There are no real hard and fast rules for how long you should sit with any energy. This will vary from person to person and the level of awareness you have of your mind and body. But the point is not to become a masochist, it is to become a master at letting things go that don’t serve your highest good.
The last thing you can add to this process is to mentally remind yourself that ‘this too shall pass’, whatever ‘this’ may be. Everything in our physical world is subject to constant change. Nothing is permanent in your life… every minute life is changing around you, you are getting older by the second and even the air you breathe is changing.
By knowing and accepting that this is the true nature of life, then reminding yourself that ‘this too shall pass’ whenever you are having a shit moment and not trying to change it or avoid it, will soon become a living reality for you.